Have you ever gone to work every morning, all fresh and ready to start working on your to-do list… BUT keep getting interruptions and attending to other people’s “URGENT” requests throughout the day – and before you realised the time, your colleagues are already waving goodbye and leaving for the day?
And poor you, you are still stuck at your desk, with your initial to-do list from the morning, with NONE of the items struck off…
And every of your own to-do’s are on hard deadlines as well?
*** ***
Have you ever agreed to meeting someone, when you actually don’t really feel like meeting, and then start to curse and swear at yourself for agreeing?
OR
Have you ever made a MAJOR purchase which you immediately regret the moment you step out of the shop and wonder if you were being hypnotized by the salesperson, and again, start to curse and swear at yourself?
*** ***
Have you ever tried being in a happy discussion such as planning a friend’s wedding, while, at the same time, also on the line trying hard to calm a friend down, who was crying her heart out because she could not understand why her boyfriend brushed her off – at a time when she thought she needed him most?
It’s scary.
It’s VERY hurting.
Who could you trust anymore? When the person whom you thought you could trust your life and happiness with, leave you stranded and feeling helpless… And you actually have to turn to other people for help…
The irony?
When you explained why you were upset in your calmest voice and tone, he blew his top at you…
The result?
You ended up apologizing to him instead…
*** ***
Have you ever tried re-scheduling all your appointments, not to mention you already have a very jam-packed calendar, or put down whatever important tasks you are currently doing, or sacrificing your much-needed sleep – just so you can spend a couple of hours with that special someone?
The irony?
He/she doesn’t know that he/she has messed up your schedule BIG time.
But does he/she need to know?
No.
Why?
Because you did it willingly. And you are happy to do it. And if we were to turn back the clock, you would still do the same thing all over again.
What do you call this behaviour?
Some call it love. Some call it silliness.
What do I say? I don’t know… ….
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
人往往都是输给自己，而女人的敌人其实常常是自己。。。
有些事情想起来可以很甜美，也可以很可怕。。。
例如，当你发现你的情绪 ── 所有高低起伏的波动 ── 都一直是被某个人所牵动着。。。
最近不知怎么的，也许是因为刚摔了一（两）跤 （不只摔坏了胸部，也摔坏了理智）； 又或者是因为刚生了一场大病； 也有可能是每个月的身理期，情绪很低弱， 起伏不定。。。
低弱的可怕度有一点不可思议，连自己也吓一跳。
本来也不把它当一回事；只是很努力， 很努力地一厢情愿以为不去理会或整理我的思绪，我就会没事。。。
但当身边的同事和朋友都来慰问我时，我才发现我只是自欺欺人。
原来，我根本就不知怎么去掩饰我的不愉快。
有人说我变沉默了许多， 也很容易发脾气。
有人说我似乎人在，心不在。
有人说就算我有说有笑，但脸上似乎总有个很悲，很伤感的表情。
甚至连我老妈都说最近我好像很不快乐，心事重重； 问我是不是工作很不顺利， 又或者和老板起争执？
说真的，我也不晓得我是怎么了。。。
我只知道我想见的人，我见不到。我想听的声音，我听不到。
我不想见的人，就一直出现在我眼前绕来绕去，阴魂不散； 我不想听到的声音，就一直在我耳朵边嗡嗡叫。
我也只知道。。。 我不想回答一些我自己也不知道答案的问题；也不想听朋友唠叨我应该去正式面对某某问题。
我更想知道。。。为什么我每次下定决心要弃权，在那重要关键的一秒时，就会接到你的电话？顿时，你又再次把我原以为收拾好的残局和思绪又弄成一团糟，越是想收拾，越是缠在一起。。。
真的好想放个长长的假。 到外头走走，吸吸新鲜的空气，看看外头, 发现原来世界这么大时，人也许会轻松多，开朗多，精神也许会好很多。。。
例如，当你发现你的情绪 ── 所有高低起伏的波动 ── 都一直是被某个人所牵动着。。。
最近不知怎么的，也许是因为刚摔了一（两）跤 （不只摔坏了胸部，也摔坏了理智）； 又或者是因为刚生了一场大病； 也有可能是每个月的身理期，情绪很低弱， 起伏不定。。。
低弱的可怕度有一点不可思议，连自己也吓一跳。
本来也不把它当一回事；只是很努力， 很努力地一厢情愿以为不去理会或整理我的思绪，我就会没事。。。
但当身边的同事和朋友都来慰问我时，我才发现我只是自欺欺人。
原来，我根本就不知怎么去掩饰我的不愉快。
有人说我变沉默了许多， 也很容易发脾气。
有人说我似乎人在，心不在。
有人说就算我有说有笑，但脸上似乎总有个很悲，很伤感的表情。
甚至连我老妈都说最近我好像很不快乐，心事重重； 问我是不是工作很不顺利， 又或者和老板起争执？
说真的，我也不晓得我是怎么了。。。
我只知道我想见的人，我见不到。我想听的声音，我听不到。
我不想见的人，就一直出现在我眼前绕来绕去，阴魂不散； 我不想听到的声音，就一直在我耳朵边嗡嗡叫。
我也只知道。。。 我不想回答一些我自己也不知道答案的问题；也不想听朋友唠叨我应该去正式面对某某问题。
我更想知道。。。为什么我每次下定决心要弃权，在那重要关键的一秒时，就会接到你的电话？顿时，你又再次把我原以为收拾好的残局和思绪又弄成一团糟，越是想收拾，越是缠在一起。。。
真的好想放个长长的假。 到外头走走，吸吸新鲜的空气，看看外头, 发现原来世界这么大时，人也许会轻松多，开朗多，精神也许会好很多。。。
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Croaking sessions for two consec Fridays… enough…
April 25, 2008
With my Hwa Chong (the smarties) clique… Butter was missing though… Paul was on a “diet” – he didn’t really have dinner prior to the la-la session, except two chickie wings...
Bubbs and Bloss
Not sure what had amused Bloss so much that her face was all cramped up...
Paul imitating the conductor...
Somehow, that evening, all three of us were feeling restless (must be the beer we had earlier, which also caused Bloss to have gastric pain...), and agreed that it might actually be better if we just adjourned to Paul’s place enjoying the company of his zoo and playing Wii…
But, being the “(sometimes) nice and non-bitchy” Bubbs, I thought it was better to wait for Butter, since she was the most excited one and has been ranting she wanted to play Wii…
Can't help smiling when I think of the "bird's pee/shit" on someone's forehead, "which burger is better?" pressing the button game, and all the other mean jokes we cracked... We were really meanies that night...
May 2, 2008
With 1/3 of the YLC members… Missing George (of the jungle and 24/7 father) and Siew Chuin (our big sis)… Had fun doing the silly mass dance to 伍佰's song. Mark entertained us with his Swan’s Lake dance…
Mr and Mrs Siang...
This was probably the last time Mrs Siang would visit Kbox at Marina Square though…
1) No wet wipes and toothpicks for fruits offered. Called for service, waited x 1. Nothing. Called for service and waited x 2. Still nothing. Called for service, waited x 3. Finally came.
2)Someone came in and told us there would be free flow of tidbits, and so, helped us refill these two miserably-small bowls with three, much to our delight – especially since Mark was starving after his night meeting…
But subsequently, when we asked for refill, we were told that our package does not include free flow of tidbits.
Weird x 1. Why did the staff, then, come in earlier and tell us we could enjoy free flow, and even replaced two bowls with three, when in the first place, we had not even thought of asking for any. They obviously forgot that they had set our expectations by doing so, and therefore, they could not blame us for being angry with such haywire communications thereafter, insisting we could not have any refills.
Weird x 2. The package was much more expensive than the normal rates – yet no FREE FLOW… How the hell did they work out that package price? Then again, the onus was also on us - we must be feeling super rich (**read: silly & stoopid) to even agree to such a deal in the 1st place… The bill came up to some $50 per pax - and that's after refusing to pay full sum due to the lousy service and "trauma" we went through...
3)Someone told us the nuggets meal would come with LOTSA fries – enough to fill Mark’s stomach. When the nuggets came, there were only a few miserable fries…
4)One of the staff, obviously unhappy that we kicked a fuss and made complaints, decided to be gung ho and walked past our room, banged the wall so hard that his action caused the wall telephone to drop.
That was the last straw to send Mrs Siang into rage…
After almost 1-2 hours of #^&$*^#^%^($^, ding dong with the staff and management, and even having watched the CCTV to ascertain who the staff was, we decided that was too much to digest in a night – which was supposed to be a night of fun and make merry…
Zonked out after all the #^*&$^%(^^
***
The Pooh car we saw when we were leaving the car park! Cute, but I don't think I would want to drive the car around town...
With my Hwa Chong (the smarties) clique… Butter was missing though… Paul was on a “diet” – he didn’t really have dinner prior to the la-la session, except two chickie wings...
Bubbs and Bloss
Not sure what had amused Bloss so much that her face was all cramped up...
Paul imitating the conductor...
Somehow, that evening, all three of us were feeling restless (must be the beer we had earlier, which also caused Bloss to have gastric pain...), and agreed that it might actually be better if we just adjourned to Paul’s place enjoying the company of his zoo and playing Wii…
But, being the “(sometimes) nice and non-bitchy” Bubbs, I thought it was better to wait for Butter, since she was the most excited one and has been ranting she wanted to play Wii…
Can't help smiling when I think of the "bird's pee/shit" on someone's forehead, "which burger is better?" pressing the button game, and all the other mean jokes we cracked... We were really meanies that night...
May 2, 2008
With 1/3 of the YLC members… Missing George (of the jungle and 24/7 father) and Siew Chuin (our big sis)… Had fun doing the silly mass dance to 伍佰's song. Mark entertained us with his Swan’s Lake dance…
Mr and Mrs Siang...
This was probably the last time Mrs Siang would visit Kbox at Marina Square though…
1) No wet wipes and toothpicks for fruits offered. Called for service, waited x 1. Nothing. Called for service and waited x 2. Still nothing. Called for service, waited x 3. Finally came.
2)Someone came in and told us there would be free flow of tidbits, and so, helped us refill these two miserably-small bowls with three, much to our delight – especially since Mark was starving after his night meeting…
But subsequently, when we asked for refill, we were told that our package does not include free flow of tidbits.
Weird x 1. Why did the staff, then, come in earlier and tell us we could enjoy free flow, and even replaced two bowls with three, when in the first place, we had not even thought of asking for any. They obviously forgot that they had set our expectations by doing so, and therefore, they could not blame us for being angry with such haywire communications thereafter, insisting we could not have any refills.
Weird x 2. The package was much more expensive than the normal rates – yet no FREE FLOW… How the hell did they work out that package price? Then again, the onus was also on us - we must be feeling super rich (**read: silly & stoopid) to even agree to such a deal in the 1st place… The bill came up to some $50 per pax - and that's after refusing to pay full sum due to the lousy service and "trauma" we went through...
3)Someone told us the nuggets meal would come with LOTSA fries – enough to fill Mark’s stomach. When the nuggets came, there were only a few miserable fries…
4)One of the staff, obviously unhappy that we kicked a fuss and made complaints, decided to be gung ho and walked past our room, banged the wall so hard that his action caused the wall telephone to drop.
That was the last straw to send Mrs Siang into rage…
After almost 1-2 hours of #^&$*^#^%^($^, ding dong with the staff and management, and even having watched the CCTV to ascertain who the staff was, we decided that was too much to digest in a night – which was supposed to be a night of fun and make merry…
Zonked out after all the #^*&$^%(^^
***
The Pooh car we saw when we were leaving the car park! Cute, but I don't think I would want to drive the car around town...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My brilliant **read: clumsy** gymnastics stunts – April 17, 2008
I’m in pain.
I fell.
Not once, but TWICE – all in a half-hour time frame.
First stunt
I was walking down the stairs from CCK LRT to CCK MRT. Mind wandered to something else… and the next thing I knew, I tripped, fell and slid down a few steps.
In a kneeling position.
And so, the front of my legs brushed against the edge of the steps. I managed to grab onto the railings for my dear life but only managed to slow down the tumbling-down speed.
Fortunately, a guy walking beside me managed to grab me by my arm, and hence, saved me before I reached the end of the stairs.
***
When I was on the train, for some reasons, I remembered thinking to myself why I was so clumsy and if I would fall a second time… But I immediately brushed the thought off…
***
Second stunt approximately 20 minutes later
The new crime scene was at the block of flats next to mine.
Before I knew it (again), I tripped over some entangled wire gauze and fell.
FLAT on my face. Yes, FLAT – face down; chest squashed.
I think I lay motionless face down on the cold hard concrete floor for a couple of seconds.
Too stunned to move. Too traumatized to even groan.
An auntie was nearby and just turned to look at me. But instead of coming over to help me up, she, too, stood motionless at her spot and just utter an “Aiyoh”.
***
Limped home… Opened the door to pitch-black darkness. Daddy and Mummy were away at Genting Highlands. Brother’s in Taiwan.
For some hormonal reasons perhaps, I suddenly felt so depressed.
And started crying non-stop…
Not because of the pain, but because I suddenly felt that I’m such a pathetic soul.
I hate returning to an empty house.
Worse, with my new fresh injuries, I suddenly felt so weak and needed someone to “sa-yang” me, fuss over or even nag at me for being so clumsy and careless… Anything... I needed someone to talk to, YET, ironically, I was too lazy to pick up the phone…
Instead, I logged onto MSN and told my few close frens and two colleagues who were online. They were very sweet by showing concern while trying to make me laugh – which I did because I’m very easily amused….
Was even more touched when one of them immediately called me. Even though he was so far away – in Switzerland… But I couldn’t utter much as I was choking from my own sobbing… But there he was at the other end of the line, having almost a one-way conversation trying to cheer me up.
***
Told my boss and a few other close colleagues about what happened when they asked about my swollen eyes the next day.
The more I shared with them, the more embarrassed I was regarding the crying saga… But after all the laughing and stuff, someone commented it’s weird that I had such a huge reaction the night before since I am quite an independent girl...
Or so I seem…
Well, I guess...whoever said that independent girls can't and won’t have their weak moments too?
I fell.
Not once, but TWICE – all in a half-hour time frame.
First stunt
I was walking down the stairs from CCK LRT to CCK MRT. Mind wandered to something else… and the next thing I knew, I tripped, fell and slid down a few steps.
In a kneeling position.
And so, the front of my legs brushed against the edge of the steps. I managed to grab onto the railings for my dear life but only managed to slow down the tumbling-down speed.
Fortunately, a guy walking beside me managed to grab me by my arm, and hence, saved me before I reached the end of the stairs.
***
When I was on the train, for some reasons, I remembered thinking to myself why I was so clumsy and if I would fall a second time… But I immediately brushed the thought off…
***
Second stunt approximately 20 minutes later
The new crime scene was at the block of flats next to mine.
Before I knew it (again), I tripped over some entangled wire gauze and fell.
FLAT on my face. Yes, FLAT – face down; chest squashed.
I think I lay motionless face down on the cold hard concrete floor for a couple of seconds.
Too stunned to move. Too traumatized to even groan.
An auntie was nearby and just turned to look at me. But instead of coming over to help me up, she, too, stood motionless at her spot and just utter an “Aiyoh”.
***
Limped home… Opened the door to pitch-black darkness. Daddy and Mummy were away at Genting Highlands. Brother’s in Taiwan.
For some hormonal reasons perhaps, I suddenly felt so depressed.
And started crying non-stop…
Not because of the pain, but because I suddenly felt that I’m such a pathetic soul.
I hate returning to an empty house.
Worse, with my new fresh injuries, I suddenly felt so weak and needed someone to “sa-yang” me, fuss over or even nag at me for being so clumsy and careless… Anything... I needed someone to talk to, YET, ironically, I was too lazy to pick up the phone…
Instead, I logged onto MSN and told my few close frens and two colleagues who were online. They were very sweet by showing concern while trying to make me laugh – which I did because I’m very easily amused….
Was even more touched when one of them immediately called me. Even though he was so far away – in Switzerland… But I couldn’t utter much as I was choking from my own sobbing… But there he was at the other end of the line, having almost a one-way conversation trying to cheer me up.
***
Told my boss and a few other close colleagues about what happened when they asked about my swollen eyes the next day.
The more I shared with them, the more embarrassed I was regarding the crying saga… But after all the laughing and stuff, someone commented it’s weird that I had such a huge reaction the night before since I am quite an independent girl...
Or so I seem…
Well, I guess...whoever said that independent girls can't and won’t have their weak moments too?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
女人心语录 II
你从不知每当要看见你的那一刻，都好想在你出现时仆向你，然后紧紧地抱住你； 再告诉你我是多么，多么地中意你。。。可是，每当你出现向我走过来时，我却因为所谓女人的矜持，而只是装无所谓地跟你打了个普通的招呼，然后和你说天说地，却就是说不出我其实真的好喜欢，好喜欢你。。。
你曾说过谢谢我陪你去吃饭，听你发牢骚，还忍受你的冷笑话；可你怎知那是因为我好想, 好想你？
我们何时变得那么陌生，对彼此如此地客气？爱很脆弱，你说是吗？也许我们早已不知不觉推翻了一切， 因为我们都忘了去在乎彼此的感觉。
这年头，爱情也许不能再相信，也从来没有所谓的白马王子或白雪公主； 也没有人还有那种心情，去真的跟你刻骨铭心，天荒地老，天长地久。。。
从没怀疑过你给我的爱。。。但只要你的最爱还是她，我永远只是一个代替品，不是吗?
你曾说过谢谢我陪你去吃饭，听你发牢骚，还忍受你的冷笑话；可你怎知那是因为我好想, 好想你？
我们何时变得那么陌生，对彼此如此地客气？爱很脆弱，你说是吗？也许我们早已不知不觉推翻了一切， 因为我们都忘了去在乎彼此的感觉。
这年头，爱情也许不能再相信，也从来没有所谓的白马王子或白雪公主； 也没有人还有那种心情，去真的跟你刻骨铭心，天荒地老，天长地久。。。
从没怀疑过你给我的爱。。。但只要你的最爱还是她，我永远只是一个代替品，不是吗?