Random, random, random

To clear the air, the previous entry has nothing to do with myself. It was just some thoughts that came across my mind after reading a book that my friend lent me, and also partly inspired by a friend’s situation. Weirdly, the PPGs thought I am feeling super emo about things again… Like what Bloss puts, “FAIL” cos my readers din get the impression I wan them to get.  Hah!

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Work has been… I don’t know whether BUSY is the right word to use, because technically speaking, my to-do list is not exactly very long… and I’m only currently working on two projects, the rest are just other nitty-gritty tasks. But somehow, these two projects are just taking ages. Sigh…

February is just too short a month. And whatever upcoming projects Boss mentioned in the meeting today, they are due in March, but ironically, until now, she does not have the information yet. I hate it when she says that cos that means it’s going to be a mad rush for all of us when she eventually briefs me and my designer. And this means we have less than three weeks to pull off a campaign, a client cocktail function, etc, etc, on top of whatever we are doing now… But judging on the workload we mentioned today, think my designer is in a worse shape than me… Good luck to us!

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The office award ceremony this year turned out to be a little surprise for me.  I was given the Team Player Award.  It's kinda ironic because I was just standing at one little corner, behind everyone else, happily gossiping with my other colleague, and eyeing at the Lo Hei and food... So imagine how I had that confused expression when I thought I heard my name being announced, then my whole face turned red when I realised everyone turned around to stare at me.

It also then occurred to me why my Human Resources Manager told me that morning she got me replaced and I do not have to be the emcee for the event ceremony anymore.   And I naively thought she was being kind for letting me off.  Yes, I'm slow at times, I know.

But I wonder who did the nomination.  Checked with the two departments I am closest to, and both said no... so... Oh well...

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When you find your mind keep wandering off when you are out with a group of friends, or you keep rolling your eyes secretly at their conversation, and at one point, you even ask yourself “Why the hell am I here listening and entertaining to such crap?”, does that mean you do not really enjoy their company anymore?

That’s kinda sad.  But I guess when your minds don’t connect in whatever way they should connect, and you are at a totally different frequency and wavelength with the rest, it is high time I start to build and maintain a distance from them. I should not allow myself to degrade to their level; otherwise, I think I will look down on myself even. Crap.

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I feel like taking a holiday. And I really mean a holiday, and not just a weekend trip to somewhere. I want to take leave to go somewhere. Talking about that, I need to clear my leave by March. Darn. But I don’t feel like going on a trip with a big group.

Best is I can go on a holiday with someone whom I feel absolutely comfortable even if we dun talk to each other much, and of course, vice versa. Hmmm… My next planned trip is in August… I wonder if I can tahan till then… Sigh...

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There are just too many messy relationships around me. And it’s weird how people think I can accept such nonsense.

Like what a friend told me.. I’m turning to you and sharing this with you because I KNOW you will not be judgmental like the rest, and you will be able to empathize, though you may not agree with what I am doing.

HUH???

I used to get very agitated after hearing messy stories, but I guess, somehow, along the way, I’ve given up saying anything at all and I guess that is why I give people the impression that I am able to empathize and not be judgmental. I’ll just keep quiet and nod my head. But to be honest, I am. I will be judgmental, just that I don’t express it anymore. Because I have come to terms that it is ultimately your problem, not mine. You are an adult and should have the sanity and morality as to what to do next. I do not have to be so affected by what is happening to you. I’ll just provide a listening ear.  Just don't deprive me of my zzz. Please.