I read somewhere that many people tend to record unhappy things in their diaries and we should actually make a conscious effort to keep a cheerful, happy diary - because if you only record sad and hurting incidents, when you flip through the pages years down the road, you may find that it was very foolish of you back then.
Before there exist such things as blogs or online entries, etc, I used to write/scribble/doodle a lot too... in my little journal. About how I felt towards many things that happened in my life -- about my past relationships, my close friends, my family, etc...
I recently flipped through my two journals and true enough... about 80 percent of the entries were quite upsetting. But I don't find it foolish at all because it's all parts and parcels of me, of my growing up days... It's what makes me who I am today...
I'm glad I put it down in writing back then... I'm glad I had such strong emotions back then, which just made me seem... seem more alive..
A lot of things had happened in the past couple of months. I was angry, upset, relieved, hurt, jealous, envious, elated, etc.
I had been wanting to jot down what made me go through all that I went through - but each time i stare at the screen or my journal, I actually did not know what to write at all... not even a single sentence. My mind was just a blank.
原来，最可怕和最可悲的不是你经历了悲欢离合， 也不是你曾经好大声地笑过，好伤心地哭过；而是你已经渐渐开始对这些起伏不定的情绪感到麻木， 也已经不知怎么去感觉。。。
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
The Ah Fung fever begins AGAIN...
I did the craziest thing AGAIN - which I never thought I would... at least, not at this age...
Butter told me on November 26 (Wednesday) that Raymond Lam, together with Kevin Cheng and Bobby Auyueng, would be in town the next day for an opening ceremony of a restaurant and gave me the address and time...
She got me all excited that I literally jumped up from my seat in the office and ran to tell SC who looked rather amused after hearing all my babblings ...
The next thing I knew - I was at Mohd Sultan on Thursday during lunch time - standing under the sun, outside the restaurant with a lot of other crazee women and men (Yes, there were men too! which I dun understand why...)
Anyway, I was actually standing at the back of the crowd... but when the three TVB stars arrived in the cool Lamborghinis, the crowd basically went amok...
Everyone was screaming and pushing such that I could not even hold my camera upright!
But the next wonderful thing I knew - I was standing right in front of Raymond Lam and Kevin Cheng!!! Awwww... "Raymond Lam is so 帅/cute/boysish" is such an understatement... **melts**
One could imagine how exhilarated I was - when I was tip-toe-ing at the back of the crowd trying to catch a glimpse and then was pushed all the way to the front!! No sweat/effort at all! Heee...
The black Lamborghini that Kevin Cheng was in...
The very suave Kevin Cheng... Somehow, his expression and outfit reminded me of "无间道"...
Bobby Auyueng! I like him too!
Bobby Auyueng and Raymond Lam
The shot that I took when Raymond Lam was right in front of my nose!! Alright.. eyes... Hiak hiak!
Raymond Lam - my friend said he has a cheeky face - cos he always has so many different expressions!
Awww...
Butter told me on November 26 (Wednesday) that Raymond Lam, together with Kevin Cheng and Bobby Auyueng, would be in town the next day for an opening ceremony of a restaurant and gave me the address and time...
She got me all excited that I literally jumped up from my seat in the office and ran to tell SC who looked rather amused after hearing all my babblings ...
The next thing I knew - I was at Mohd Sultan on Thursday during lunch time - standing under the sun, outside the restaurant with a lot of other crazee women and men (Yes, there were men too! which I dun understand why...)
Anyway, I was actually standing at the back of the crowd... but when the three TVB stars arrived in the cool Lamborghinis, the crowd basically went amok...
Everyone was screaming and pushing such that I could not even hold my camera upright!
But the next wonderful thing I knew - I was standing right in front of Raymond Lam and Kevin Cheng!!! Awwww... "Raymond Lam is so 帅/cute/boysish" is such an understatement... **melts**
One could imagine how exhilarated I was - when I was tip-toe-ing at the back of the crowd trying to catch a glimpse and then was pushed all the way to the front!! No sweat/effort at all! Heee...
The black Lamborghini that Kevin Cheng was in...
The very suave Kevin Cheng... Somehow, his expression and outfit reminded me of "无间道"...
Bobby Auyueng! I like him too!
Bobby Auyueng and Raymond Lam
The shot that I took when Raymond Lam was right in front of my nose!! Alright.. eyes... Hiak hiak!
Raymond Lam - my friend said he has a cheeky face - cos he always has so many different expressions!
Awww...
Monday, November 03, 2008
Something I just read and felt strongly for...
女人再怎么宽容，也不会忘记那种被欺负的苦楚。
欺负，就是欺骗与辜负。
骗她，辜负她对他的好，对她的热情冷漠，让她受了委屈还不能回家说。
欺负，就是欺骗与辜负。
骗她，辜负她对他的好，对她的热情冷漠，让她受了委屈还不能回家说。
Sunday, October 12, 2008
This is what we call service!
I received a call from the video shop which I always go to when I need to satisfy my Hong Kong drama serial addiction…
Shop guy: Harlow! It’s me! I noticed one thing!
Me: Huh, what? I’ve long returned the 家好月圆DVDs liao mah…
(good show, by the way!)
Shop guy: No la… I just wanted to say I noted that all the shows you last borrowed cast 林峰! And so I want to tell you he got new show leh!
Me: Oh…
Bla bla bla… Bla bla bla…
I was actually impressed that someone from a small video shop actually noted his customers’ purchasing behaviour and subsequently, made suitable recommendations. This is what good service should be, right? Instead of shoving me down the throat with this and that supposedly good show…
On another note, I thought the lyrics of the song is quite true, esp the ones in bold...
無心害你 - 《溏心風暴之家好月圓》主題曲
主唱︰關菊英
想一生一起 別想得這樣美
當中少不免 道別離
想歡歡喜喜 但清楚這道理
風光怎麼會沒了期
時日過 誰能成為大器
誰人全無運氣
這次抱你手臂 我怎麼竟顧忌
危難裏 我會陪著你
或是如同做戲
去到最尾會各自飛﹖
在變幻時候跟風駛里
在抉擇時候只好勢利
誰想講骨氣 最先必須有一些儲備
在抱著時候知己知彼
在對立時候爭取勝利
無非人生道理
在最壞時候必須卑鄙
在決裂時候彼此妒忌
無非人生道理
原本無心害你
Shop guy: Harlow! It’s me! I noticed one thing!
Me: Huh, what? I’ve long returned the 家好月圆DVDs liao mah…
(good show, by the way!)
Shop guy: No la… I just wanted to say I noted that all the shows you last borrowed cast 林峰! And so I want to tell you he got new show leh!
Me: Oh…
Bla bla bla… Bla bla bla…
I was actually impressed that someone from a small video shop actually noted his customers’ purchasing behaviour and subsequently, made suitable recommendations. This is what good service should be, right? Instead of shoving me down the throat with this and that supposedly good show…
On another note, I thought the lyrics of the song is quite true, esp the ones in bold...
無心害你 - 《溏心風暴之家好月圓》主題曲
主唱︰關菊英
想一生一起 別想得這樣美
當中少不免 道別離
想歡歡喜喜 但清楚這道理
風光怎麼會沒了期
時日過 誰能成為大器
誰人全無運氣
這次抱你手臂 我怎麼竟顧忌
危難裏 我會陪著你
或是如同做戲
去到最尾會各自飛﹖
在變幻時候跟風駛里
在抉擇時候只好勢利
誰想講骨氣 最先必須有一些儲備
在抱著時候知己知彼
在對立時候爭取勝利
無非人生道理
在最壞時候必須卑鄙
在決裂時候彼此妒忌
無非人生道理
原本無心害你
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Random
Love is a magical emotion, an unexplained passion you feel for someone. And you need that passion to cover that person’s flaws… so you will still love him even when you know he is an idiot, a dense blockhead, a geek, etc, etc…
Love (or is that passion?) is... if he is the only one whom you will still illogically want to be with and the one whom you still will choose for yourself, against all odds...
Call me naïve and idealistic but until now, I still don’t understand how people can fall for two people at the same time. There’s no half-heartedness nor sharing in love. Either you don’t or you love him with each and every part of your cells and you want him to be happy and you will want the best for him – and this means even if you don’t really fancy his growing beer belly or if he does something in public which you thought was kind of embarrassing…
I totally don’t understand the concept of an open relationship that my friend has been telling me about. Shouldn’t love be as simple as if two people love each other, they get together and declare themselves as an official couple? So what are all these nonsense about “Yes, you love me and I love you too, we hold hands, we kissed and we can even get into bed but NO, we are not together and definitely not a couple...We are just in an open relationship.” HUH???!!! What the hell...
Different people tell me at different times that what they want is just someone in his/her life. Someone whom they love and love them back. But the fact is ─ who don’t? But you just can’t anyhow grab anyone as a life buoy, and try to see if you can develop that magical feeling with him/her; when you are not ready for, or should I say, when you can’t even bear to visualize a lifetime ahead with him/her – but really, just to satisfy your short-term neediness. That’s selfish.
I used to believe that platonic friendship does exist. But honestly, who am I trying to kid? At some point in time, I swear, one party will fall for the other, but would just keep quiet. Quietly hoping, wishing, praying that the other one will somehow, by telepathic powers or what have you, to sense the slightly different treatment. Yet, because the receiving party has been too used to the company and care and concern, he/she won’t even realize the difference! Yet, because the giving party is so afraid of the possibility of losing the other as a close friend after laying cards on the table, and so might continue to act dumb. Platonic friendship exists only after both parties have moved on, and decided one day to be honest about the past non-platonic feel he/she has for him/her. But honestly, not everyone can do that.
Which brings me to - I don't understand how a girl can call a guy who is attached to another girl at any time to share her grievances about work, life, what have you, or even to share a joke or anything or everything under the sun. And worse, I don't understand why and how the guy can actually entertain the girl. I'm sure no sane girl in the world could tolerate knowing that there is another girl calling or messaging her man about anything and everything - major or minor. The girl is at fault. The man is also at fault. And no, don't give me the bullshit that you two are just friends - because don't all relationships begin and blossom from being there for you emotionally, mentally, what have you...
A few close friends have told me at different times that I need to verbalise more on what I think and how I feel – especially when I always give people the “Whatever” or “I don’t really care” attitude or expression – when actually, I do care a lot. They say that my thoughts are always not reflected via my actions. And that’s unhealthy and bad for me – in the long run… But – isn’t this a good way to really protect myself from getting hurt?
Love (or is that passion?) is... if he is the only one whom you will still illogically want to be with and the one whom you still will choose for yourself, against all odds...
Call me naïve and idealistic but until now, I still don’t understand how people can fall for two people at the same time. There’s no half-heartedness nor sharing in love. Either you don’t or you love him with each and every part of your cells and you want him to be happy and you will want the best for him – and this means even if you don’t really fancy his growing beer belly or if he does something in public which you thought was kind of embarrassing…
I totally don’t understand the concept of an open relationship that my friend has been telling me about. Shouldn’t love be as simple as if two people love each other, they get together and declare themselves as an official couple? So what are all these nonsense about “Yes, you love me and I love you too, we hold hands, we kissed and we can even get into bed but NO, we are not together and definitely not a couple...We are just in an open relationship.” HUH???!!! What the hell...
Different people tell me at different times that what they want is just someone in his/her life. Someone whom they love and love them back. But the fact is ─ who don’t? But you just can’t anyhow grab anyone as a life buoy, and try to see if you can develop that magical feeling with him/her; when you are not ready for, or should I say, when you can’t even bear to visualize a lifetime ahead with him/her – but really, just to satisfy your short-term neediness. That’s selfish.
I used to believe that platonic friendship does exist. But honestly, who am I trying to kid? At some point in time, I swear, one party will fall for the other, but would just keep quiet. Quietly hoping, wishing, praying that the other one will somehow, by telepathic powers or what have you, to sense the slightly different treatment. Yet, because the receiving party has been too used to the company and care and concern, he/she won’t even realize the difference! Yet, because the giving party is so afraid of the possibility of losing the other as a close friend after laying cards on the table, and so might continue to act dumb. Platonic friendship exists only after both parties have moved on, and decided one day to be honest about the past non-platonic feel he/she has for him/her. But honestly, not everyone can do that.
Which brings me to - I don't understand how a girl can call a guy who is attached to another girl at any time to share her grievances about work, life, what have you, or even to share a joke or anything or everything under the sun. And worse, I don't understand why and how the guy can actually entertain the girl. I'm sure no sane girl in the world could tolerate knowing that there is another girl calling or messaging her man about anything and everything - major or minor. The girl is at fault. The man is also at fault. And no, don't give me the bullshit that you two are just friends - because don't all relationships begin and blossom from being there for you emotionally, mentally, what have you...
A few close friends have told me at different times that I need to verbalise more on what I think and how I feel – especially when I always give people the “Whatever” or “I don’t really care” attitude or expression – when actually, I do care a lot. They say that my thoughts are always not reflected via my actions. And that’s unhealthy and bad for me – in the long run… But – isn’t this a good way to really protect myself from getting hurt?
Sunday, September 07, 2008
SMS conversation…
...
...
Gal: Are you feeling better?
Guy: OK.
Gal: OK means what? Fully recovered or still sniffing and sneezing away?
Guy: A bit… :p
Gal: You win... I “噼里啪啦” ask you so much -- you just act cool and give me 1-2 word answers!!
Guy: Haha.
Gal: Urgh, ok, never mind. Whatever. (sulks BIG time)
From the girl’s point of view, sometimes, when I care enough to show my concern by asking if you are getting better, couldn't you set my mind at ease by at least giving me a bit more details, instead of just 1-2 word answers (and if I catch you at a bad time when you are in the midst of back-to-back meetings, then just blardy hell tell me so).
Otherwise, the girl might think that “你把她的关心当垃圾, especially when she’s suffering from PMS…
...
Gal: Are you feeling better?
Guy: OK.
Gal: OK means what? Fully recovered or still sniffing and sneezing away?
Guy: A bit… :p
Gal: You win... I “噼里啪啦” ask you so much -- you just act cool and give me 1-2 word answers!!
Guy: Haha.
Gal: Urgh, ok, never mind. Whatever. (sulks BIG time)
From the girl’s point of view, sometimes, when I care enough to show my concern by asking if you are getting better, couldn't you set my mind at ease by at least giving me a bit more details, instead of just 1-2 word answers (and if I catch you at a bad time when you are in the midst of back-to-back meetings, then just blardy hell tell me so).
Otherwise, the girl might think that “你把她的关心当垃圾, especially when she’s suffering from PMS…
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Reflection
Bloss insisted that I have serious communication problems – that I am lousy at communicating.
“Maybe that’s why you always have problems with your vendors.”
Ouch. That hurts.
But she’s my good old pal and so, I reckon there must be some truth in it… And so, I decide to do some quiet reflection.
It all started because I was supposed to make reservations for dinner for all seven of us in the evening.
At 10:14am, I sent the following sms to Bloss and Butter:
Bubbs: “Morn, gals! In case you start chasing me, I’ll make reservations at XXX at 7? Bloss, we may need you to pick us up from town or wat, OK? Confirm later. Will sms u after I make reservations after my lessons.”
At 10:20am,
A series of SMS exchange between me and Butter… But I DID NOT receive any sms from Bloss the entire morning and early afternoon…
At 3:19 pm after I called the restaurant and realised that they have only two time slots for dinner reservations – either 5.30 pm or 8.00 pm… (I made reservations for 8.00pm.)
Bubbs: Meet at entrance of XXX at 730 pm. Bloss, can u pick us up from town? Paul’s joining us too.
At 3:20 pm,
Bloss: Orchard MRT. 630.
Bubbs: OK. I’ll let Butter noe.
At 3:22 pm,
Bubbs: Wait. 630? So early for wat? Tables only avail between 745 n 8 lei. Cos they divide into 2 slots. Either 530 or 8 slot. Say 710 at Orchard MRT.
At 3:24pm,
Bloss: I thought you said dinner reservation made for 7pm.
At 3:29 pm,
Bubbs: U din read my 2nd sms ya? 730 pm. For dinner, they have 2 slots only. 530 or 8.
At 3:31pm,
Bloss: I did. I meant when you sent the sms this morning to say reservation made for 7 pm, pple will usu understand tat to mean dinner starts at 7. That’s why I said pick you gals at 630.
At 3:33 pm,
Bubbs: Tat was morn before I made reservations mah. How I noe they got the silly 2 round thing? Then can’t get earlier cos butter got “appt” mah.
At 3:34 pm,
Bloss: Watever. 710 then.
The 2nd miscommunication came about when I did not inform Bloss I would not be taking her car to the dinner place with Butter. I only told Butter that I would not be joining her to take Bloss’ car because I would be taking someone else’s.
(OK – to which I admitted it’s my oversight - I should have dropped a sms to inform Bloss – but at that point in time, I thought it was unnecessary since Butter would have told her anyway…) And so, a series of SMSes again…
***
Bloss: Butter said you will be taking David’s car and not meeting us first, right?
Bubbs: Yes, OK right?
Bloss: OK. Just wanted to confirm because from your sms in the morning, it sounded like you are taking my car too.
Bubbs: I was planning to. But he offered and since I do not have to travel down all the way down to town…
***
Well… I admitted I should have told the one driving (and not the passenger) that I would not be taking a ride from her… but for the dinner reservations… can someone please tell me where did I go wrong in causing so much confusion?
Sigh…
“Maybe that’s why you always have problems with your vendors.”
Ouch. That hurts.
But she’s my good old pal and so, I reckon there must be some truth in it… And so, I decide to do some quiet reflection.
It all started because I was supposed to make reservations for dinner for all seven of us in the evening.
At 10:14am, I sent the following sms to Bloss and Butter:
Bubbs: “Morn, gals! In case you start chasing me, I’ll make reservations at XXX at 7? Bloss, we may need you to pick us up from town or wat, OK? Confirm later. Will sms u after I make reservations after my lessons.”
At 10:20am,
A series of SMS exchange between me and Butter… But I DID NOT receive any sms from Bloss the entire morning and early afternoon…
At 3:19 pm after I called the restaurant and realised that they have only two time slots for dinner reservations – either 5.30 pm or 8.00 pm… (I made reservations for 8.00pm.)
Bubbs: Meet at entrance of XXX at 730 pm. Bloss, can u pick us up from town? Paul’s joining us too.
At 3:20 pm,
Bloss: Orchard MRT. 630.
Bubbs: OK. I’ll let Butter noe.
At 3:22 pm,
Bubbs: Wait. 630? So early for wat? Tables only avail between 745 n 8 lei. Cos they divide into 2 slots. Either 530 or 8 slot. Say 710 at Orchard MRT.
At 3:24pm,
Bloss: I thought you said dinner reservation made for 7pm.
At 3:29 pm,
Bubbs: U din read my 2nd sms ya? 730 pm. For dinner, they have 2 slots only. 530 or 8.
At 3:31pm,
Bloss: I did. I meant when you sent the sms this morning to say reservation made for 7 pm, pple will usu understand tat to mean dinner starts at 7. That’s why I said pick you gals at 630.
At 3:33 pm,
Bubbs: Tat was morn before I made reservations mah. How I noe they got the silly 2 round thing? Then can’t get earlier cos butter got “appt” mah.
At 3:34 pm,
Bloss: Watever. 710 then.
The 2nd miscommunication came about when I did not inform Bloss I would not be taking her car to the dinner place with Butter. I only told Butter that I would not be joining her to take Bloss’ car because I would be taking someone else’s.
(OK – to which I admitted it’s my oversight - I should have dropped a sms to inform Bloss – but at that point in time, I thought it was unnecessary since Butter would have told her anyway…) And so, a series of SMSes again…
***
Bloss: Butter said you will be taking David’s car and not meeting us first, right?
Bubbs: Yes, OK right?
Bloss: OK. Just wanted to confirm because from your sms in the morning, it sounded like you are taking my car too.
Bubbs: I was planning to. But he offered and since I do not have to travel down all the way down to town…
***
Well… I admitted I should have told the one driving (and not the passenger) that I would not be taking a ride from her… but for the dinner reservations… can someone please tell me where did I go wrong in causing so much confusion?
Sigh…
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The House Test...
What the House Test Says About You |
 You consider yourself important, but no more important than anyone else. You love attention, but you don't feel like you deserve more of it than anyone else. Bubbs: So do I consider myself important or not? **blur** You aren't against being community oriented, but it's not really your thing. You tend to prefer to focus on your family and not the neighborhood around you. You are a playful, charming, and seductive person. People feel instantly close to you. You take good care of your physical appearance. You dress well, stay in shape, and do your best to look great. You are moved by romance and love. You are optimistic about people, and you love hearing about happy endings. Bubbs: ya - but why am I not hearing any happy endings? |
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Learning to breathe… All over again…
It’s not the first time Cheryl asked me to slow down my walking pace and learn to relax…
She said it to me again yesterday, “Can you not walk so fast? It’s the weekend… Chill… Slow down…”
Even one of my tuition students also asks me to learn to chill -- when she got me all worked up with some mistakes she repeated time and time again…
I don’t know… I am someone who gets uptight very easily, and also get flustered very easily, even by little things – which I know, it’s seriously not good. Not good for my mental, emo and overall well-being…
I guess it’s finally taking a toll on me… Have you experienced before – that a lot of things seem to be running through your mind; yet at the same time, your mind seems blank too?
Honestly, I’m not feeling OK at all.
It scares me that I can sometimes just suddenly break down. It even happened a few times in the office – and when two colleagues who saw my teary eyes, expressed concerns, I didn’t even know what and how to tell them…
The thing is – I do not know why I am feeling depressed.
OK – I take that back. I think I know how it all started.
The thing is, when or even before I could snap out of it, another incident (which can be totally unrelated to the thing I was initially upset about) happened before I could fully recover from the previous one… and then, a string of things just happens one after another…
And so, everything just snowballs, adds up… until I don’t even know what and how to think, what to worry, what and how to solve, what and how to snap out of…
And this stupid negative vibe has been around me for damn long that I’m actually beginning to miss my own laughter, my own “bubbliness”, etc….
And it's damn tough trying to act normal in front of colleagues and friends who you are not so close to - so that they would not sense something's wrong and flood you with questions you may not even know how to answer.
Work hasn’t been exactly very smooth or pleasant for the past week either.
Boss asked me to go into a meeting room one morning and said “We need to talk.”
The tone was serious, and when I heard that, I did not have a very good feel about it.
She addressed something which I had done the week before. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have done what I did, and if I wanted to do it, I should have asked her first… But, at that point in time when I did it, I honestly did not think that it was as serious as how she had put it across to me – because I actually knew many people doing such things…
Anyway, the bottomline was she was very unhappy and displeased with my action/behaviour. Her harsh words during the discussion still rang in my mind…
Although she tried to end the conversation with somewhat a softer touch later with “I’ve actually thought about this over the weekend – whether I should turn a blind eye to it or if I should address it with you. But I thought I should have a word with you; otherwise, it would mean I am condoning your behaviour.
Anyway, I’ve decided to let this incident pass. Case closed and let’s move on.”, somehow, that discussion had put a strain on our working relationship. I don’t know about her, but I feel very awkward each time I have to face her now.
Throughout the week, things seemed to be as per normal.. until I saw a nasty email from her later part of the week – asking me why I did not do some routine menial tasks… When I saw her email first thing in the morning when I got to work, I found myself fuming… There were, of course, legitimate reasons why I did not get around doing some menial tasks…
Right, granted – in retrospect, I should have informed her that I did not get around doing some routine menial tasks. But I just wonder if it really warranted such a harsh email. Besides, these tasks would not endanger any progress in any projects…
And I especially hate it when she ended the email with sarcasm – “Let me know if you are having problems coping with your current workload.”
Come on, she and I both knew my to-do’s list. And she and I both knew that I am not as busy as previous weeks. And if I could complete these menial tasks during the busy weeks, there's no reason why I could not do it when I'm supposed to have a bit more leisure time on hand. So, why end with that sarcasm?
And we are talking about routine menial tasks here, which I’ve been doing for the past one year plus; and not some major thingie that would leave me working in office till wee hours or even some stuff which would delay her plans/work or wat... What the Y#&*$^(#^%^%#W..
She obviously doubts my capabilities now, isn’t it?
And so, I could not help but link the discussion early in the week and the email later in the week together. It seems that it was not “Case closed” afterall. Isn’t it? She’s starting to nitpick on me, isn’t it?
Now, I have become paranoid and check my work email many times over the weekend – in case I received some shocking or upsetting emails from her again.
I really dread going back to work tomorrow…
Isn’t this year supposed to be a good year for Goats?
Why, then, is everything so not smooth-sailing?
She said it to me again yesterday, “Can you not walk so fast? It’s the weekend… Chill… Slow down…”
Even one of my tuition students also asks me to learn to chill -- when she got me all worked up with some mistakes she repeated time and time again…
I don’t know… I am someone who gets uptight very easily, and also get flustered very easily, even by little things – which I know, it’s seriously not good. Not good for my mental, emo and overall well-being…
I guess it’s finally taking a toll on me… Have you experienced before – that a lot of things seem to be running through your mind; yet at the same time, your mind seems blank too?
Honestly, I’m not feeling OK at all.
It scares me that I can sometimes just suddenly break down. It even happened a few times in the office – and when two colleagues who saw my teary eyes, expressed concerns, I didn’t even know what and how to tell them…
The thing is – I do not know why I am feeling depressed.
OK – I take that back. I think I know how it all started.
The thing is, when or even before I could snap out of it, another incident (which can be totally unrelated to the thing I was initially upset about) happened before I could fully recover from the previous one… and then, a string of things just happens one after another…
And so, everything just snowballs, adds up… until I don’t even know what and how to think, what to worry, what and how to solve, what and how to snap out of…
And this stupid negative vibe has been around me for damn long that I’m actually beginning to miss my own laughter, my own “bubbliness”, etc….
And it's damn tough trying to act normal in front of colleagues and friends who you are not so close to - so that they would not sense something's wrong and flood you with questions you may not even know how to answer.
Work hasn’t been exactly very smooth or pleasant for the past week either.
Boss asked me to go into a meeting room one morning and said “We need to talk.”
The tone was serious, and when I heard that, I did not have a very good feel about it.
She addressed something which I had done the week before. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have done what I did, and if I wanted to do it, I should have asked her first… But, at that point in time when I did it, I honestly did not think that it was as serious as how she had put it across to me – because I actually knew many people doing such things…
Anyway, the bottomline was she was very unhappy and displeased with my action/behaviour. Her harsh words during the discussion still rang in my mind…
Although she tried to end the conversation with somewhat a softer touch later with “I’ve actually thought about this over the weekend – whether I should turn a blind eye to it or if I should address it with you. But I thought I should have a word with you; otherwise, it would mean I am condoning your behaviour.
Anyway, I’ve decided to let this incident pass. Case closed and let’s move on.”, somehow, that discussion had put a strain on our working relationship. I don’t know about her, but I feel very awkward each time I have to face her now.
Throughout the week, things seemed to be as per normal.. until I saw a nasty email from her later part of the week – asking me why I did not do some routine menial tasks… When I saw her email first thing in the morning when I got to work, I found myself fuming… There were, of course, legitimate reasons why I did not get around doing some menial tasks…
Right, granted – in retrospect, I should have informed her that I did not get around doing some routine menial tasks. But I just wonder if it really warranted such a harsh email. Besides, these tasks would not endanger any progress in any projects…
And I especially hate it when she ended the email with sarcasm – “Let me know if you are having problems coping with your current workload.”
Come on, she and I both knew my to-do’s list. And she and I both knew that I am not as busy as previous weeks. And if I could complete these menial tasks during the busy weeks, there's no reason why I could not do it when I'm supposed to have a bit more leisure time on hand. So, why end with that sarcasm?
And we are talking about routine menial tasks here, which I’ve been doing for the past one year plus; and not some major thingie that would leave me working in office till wee hours or even some stuff which would delay her plans/work or wat... What the Y#&*$^(#^%^%#W..
She obviously doubts my capabilities now, isn’t it?
And so, I could not help but link the discussion early in the week and the email later in the week together. It seems that it was not “Case closed” afterall. Isn’t it? She’s starting to nitpick on me, isn’t it?
Now, I have become paranoid and check my work email many times over the weekend – in case I received some shocking or upsetting emails from her again.
I really dread going back to work tomorrow…
Isn’t this year supposed to be a good year for Goats?
Why, then, is everything so not smooth-sailing?
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Have You Ever…?
Have you ever gone to work every morning, all fresh and ready to start working on your to-do list… BUT keep getting interruptions and attending to other people’s “URGENT” requests throughout the day – and before you realised the time, your colleagues are already waving goodbye and leaving for the day?
And poor you, you are still stuck at your desk, with your initial to-do list from the morning, with NONE of the items struck off…
And every of your own to-do’s are on hard deadlines as well?
*** ***
Have you ever agreed to meeting someone, when you actually don’t really feel like meeting, and then start to curse and swear at yourself for agreeing?
OR
Have you ever made a MAJOR purchase which you immediately regret the moment you step out of the shop and wonder if you were being hypnotized by the salesperson, and again, start to curse and swear at yourself?
*** ***
Have you ever tried being in a happy discussion such as planning a friend’s wedding, while, at the same time, also on the line trying hard to calm a friend down, who was crying her heart out because she could not understand why her boyfriend brushed her off – at a time when she thought she needed him most?
It’s scary.
It’s VERY hurting.
Who could you trust anymore? When the person whom you thought you could trust your life and happiness with, leave you stranded and feeling helpless… And you actually have to turn to other people for help…
The irony?
When you explained why you were upset in your calmest voice and tone, he blew his top at you…
The result?
You ended up apologizing to him instead…
*** ***
Have you ever tried re-scheduling all your appointments, not to mention you already have a very jam-packed calendar, or put down whatever important tasks you are currently doing, or sacrificing your much-needed sleep – just so you can spend a couple of hours with that special someone?
The irony?
He/she doesn’t know that he/she has messed up your schedule BIG time.
But does he/she need to know?
No.
Why?
Because you did it willingly. And you are happy to do it. And if we were to turn back the clock, you would still do the same thing all over again.
What do you call this behaviour?
Some call it love. Some call it silliness.
What do I say? I don’t know… ….
And poor you, you are still stuck at your desk, with your initial to-do list from the morning, with NONE of the items struck off…
And every of your own to-do’s are on hard deadlines as well?
*** ***
Have you ever agreed to meeting someone, when you actually don’t really feel like meeting, and then start to curse and swear at yourself for agreeing?
OR
Have you ever made a MAJOR purchase which you immediately regret the moment you step out of the shop and wonder if you were being hypnotized by the salesperson, and again, start to curse and swear at yourself?
*** ***
Have you ever tried being in a happy discussion such as planning a friend’s wedding, while, at the same time, also on the line trying hard to calm a friend down, who was crying her heart out because she could not understand why her boyfriend brushed her off – at a time when she thought she needed him most?
It’s scary.
It’s VERY hurting.
Who could you trust anymore? When the person whom you thought you could trust your life and happiness with, leave you stranded and feeling helpless… And you actually have to turn to other people for help…
The irony?
When you explained why you were upset in your calmest voice and tone, he blew his top at you…
The result?
You ended up apologizing to him instead…
*** ***
Have you ever tried re-scheduling all your appointments, not to mention you already have a very jam-packed calendar, or put down whatever important tasks you are currently doing, or sacrificing your much-needed sleep – just so you can spend a couple of hours with that special someone?
The irony?
He/she doesn’t know that he/she has messed up your schedule BIG time.
But does he/she need to know?
No.
Why?
Because you did it willingly. And you are happy to do it. And if we were to turn back the clock, you would still do the same thing all over again.
What do you call this behaviour?
Some call it love. Some call it silliness.
What do I say? I don’t know… ….
Sunday, May 18, 2008
人往往都是输给自己，而女人的敌人其实常常是自己。。。
有些事情想起来可以很甜美，也可以很可怕。。。
例如，当你发现你的情绪 ── 所有高低起伏的波动 ── 都一直是被某个人所牵动着。。。
最近不知怎么的，也许是因为刚摔了一（两）跤 （不只摔坏了胸部，也摔坏了理智）； 又或者是因为刚生了一场大病； 也有可能是每个月的身理期，情绪很低弱， 起伏不定。。。
低弱的可怕度有一点不可思议，连自己也吓一跳。
本来也不把它当一回事；只是很努力， 很努力地一厢情愿以为不去理会或整理我的思绪，我就会没事。。。
但当身边的同事和朋友都来慰问我时，我才发现我只是自欺欺人。
原来，我根本就不知怎么去掩饰我的不愉快。
有人说我变沉默了许多， 也很容易发脾气。
有人说我似乎人在，心不在。
有人说就算我有说有笑，但脸上似乎总有个很悲，很伤感的表情。
甚至连我老妈都说最近我好像很不快乐，心事重重； 问我是不是工作很不顺利， 又或者和老板起争执？
说真的，我也不晓得我是怎么了。。。
我只知道我想见的人，我见不到。我想听的声音，我听不到。
我不想见的人，就一直出现在我眼前绕来绕去，阴魂不散； 我不想听到的声音，就一直在我耳朵边嗡嗡叫。
我也只知道。。。 我不想回答一些我自己也不知道答案的问题；也不想听朋友唠叨我应该去正式面对某某问题。
我更想知道。。。为什么我每次下定决心要弃权，在那重要关键的一秒时，就会接到你的电话？顿时，你又再次把我原以为收拾好的残局和思绪又弄成一团糟，越是想收拾，越是缠在一起。。。
真的好想放个长长的假。 到外头走走，吸吸新鲜的空气，看看外头, 发现原来世界这么大时，人也许会轻松多，开朗多，精神也许会好很多。。。
例如，当你发现你的情绪 ── 所有高低起伏的波动 ── 都一直是被某个人所牵动着。。。
最近不知怎么的，也许是因为刚摔了一（两）跤 （不只摔坏了胸部，也摔坏了理智）； 又或者是因为刚生了一场大病； 也有可能是每个月的身理期，情绪很低弱， 起伏不定。。。
低弱的可怕度有一点不可思议，连自己也吓一跳。
本来也不把它当一回事；只是很努力， 很努力地一厢情愿以为不去理会或整理我的思绪，我就会没事。。。
但当身边的同事和朋友都来慰问我时，我才发现我只是自欺欺人。
原来，我根本就不知怎么去掩饰我的不愉快。
有人说我变沉默了许多， 也很容易发脾气。
有人说我似乎人在，心不在。
有人说就算我有说有笑，但脸上似乎总有个很悲，很伤感的表情。
甚至连我老妈都说最近我好像很不快乐，心事重重； 问我是不是工作很不顺利， 又或者和老板起争执？
说真的，我也不晓得我是怎么了。。。
我只知道我想见的人，我见不到。我想听的声音，我听不到。
我不想见的人，就一直出现在我眼前绕来绕去，阴魂不散； 我不想听到的声音，就一直在我耳朵边嗡嗡叫。
我也只知道。。。 我不想回答一些我自己也不知道答案的问题；也不想听朋友唠叨我应该去正式面对某某问题。
我更想知道。。。为什么我每次下定决心要弃权，在那重要关键的一秒时，就会接到你的电话？顿时，你又再次把我原以为收拾好的残局和思绪又弄成一团糟，越是想收拾，越是缠在一起。。。
真的好想放个长长的假。 到外头走走，吸吸新鲜的空气，看看外头, 发现原来世界这么大时，人也许会轻松多，开朗多，精神也许会好很多。。。
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Croaking sessions for two consec Fridays… enough…
April 25, 2008
With my Hwa Chong (the smarties) clique… Butter was missing though… Paul was on a “diet” – he didn’t really have dinner prior to the la-la session, except two chickie wings...
Bubbs and Bloss
Not sure what had amused Bloss so much that her face was all cramped up...
Paul imitating the conductor...
Somehow, that evening, all three of us were feeling restless (must be the beer we had earlier, which also caused Bloss to have gastric pain...), and agreed that it might actually be better if we just adjourned to Paul’s place enjoying the company of his zoo and playing Wii…
But, being the “(sometimes) nice and non-bitchy” Bubbs, I thought it was better to wait for Butter, since she was the most excited one and has been ranting she wanted to play Wii…
Can't help smiling when I think of the "bird's pee/shit" on someone's forehead, "which burger is better?" pressing the button game, and all the other mean jokes we cracked... We were really meanies that night...
May 2, 2008
With 1/3 of the YLC members… Missing George (of the jungle and 24/7 father) and Siew Chuin (our big sis)… Had fun doing the silly mass dance to 伍佰's song. Mark entertained us with his Swan’s Lake dance…
Mr and Mrs Siang...
This was probably the last time Mrs Siang would visit Kbox at Marina Square though…
1) No wet wipes and toothpicks for fruits offered. Called for service, waited x 1. Nothing. Called for service and waited x 2. Still nothing. Called for service, waited x 3. Finally came.
2)Someone came in and told us there would be free flow of tidbits, and so, helped us refill these two miserably-small bowls with three, much to our delight – especially since Mark was starving after his night meeting…
But subsequently, when we asked for refill, we were told that our package does not include free flow of tidbits.
Weird x 1. Why did the staff, then, come in earlier and tell us we could enjoy free flow, and even replaced two bowls with three, when in the first place, we had not even thought of asking for any. They obviously forgot that they had set our expectations by doing so, and therefore, they could not blame us for being angry with such haywire communications thereafter, insisting we could not have any refills.
Weird x 2. The package was much more expensive than the normal rates – yet no FREE FLOW… How the hell did they work out that package price? Then again, the onus was also on us - we must be feeling super rich (**read: silly & stoopid) to even agree to such a deal in the 1st place… The bill came up to some $50 per pax - and that's after refusing to pay full sum due to the lousy service and "trauma" we went through...
3)Someone told us the nuggets meal would come with LOTSA fries – enough to fill Mark’s stomach. When the nuggets came, there were only a few miserable fries…
4)One of the staff, obviously unhappy that we kicked a fuss and made complaints, decided to be gung ho and walked past our room, banged the wall so hard that his action caused the wall telephone to drop.
That was the last straw to send Mrs Siang into rage…
After almost 1-2 hours of #^&$*^#^%^($^, ding dong with the staff and management, and even having watched the CCTV to ascertain who the staff was, we decided that was too much to digest in a night – which was supposed to be a night of fun and make merry…
Zonked out after all the #^*&$^%(^^
***
The Pooh car we saw when we were leaving the car park! Cute, but I don't think I would want to drive the car around town...
With my Hwa Chong (the smarties) clique… Butter was missing though… Paul was on a “diet” – he didn’t really have dinner prior to the la-la session, except two chickie wings...
Bubbs and Bloss
Not sure what had amused Bloss so much that her face was all cramped up...
Paul imitating the conductor...
Somehow, that evening, all three of us were feeling restless (must be the beer we had earlier, which also caused Bloss to have gastric pain...), and agreed that it might actually be better if we just adjourned to Paul’s place enjoying the company of his zoo and playing Wii…
But, being the “(sometimes) nice and non-bitchy” Bubbs, I thought it was better to wait for Butter, since she was the most excited one and has been ranting she wanted to play Wii…
Can't help smiling when I think of the "bird's pee/shit" on someone's forehead, "which burger is better?" pressing the button game, and all the other mean jokes we cracked... We were really meanies that night...
May 2, 2008
With 1/3 of the YLC members… Missing George (of the jungle and 24/7 father) and Siew Chuin (our big sis)… Had fun doing the silly mass dance to 伍佰's song. Mark entertained us with his Swan’s Lake dance…
Mr and Mrs Siang...
This was probably the last time Mrs Siang would visit Kbox at Marina Square though…
1) No wet wipes and toothpicks for fruits offered. Called for service, waited x 1. Nothing. Called for service and waited x 2. Still nothing. Called for service, waited x 3. Finally came.
2)Someone came in and told us there would be free flow of tidbits, and so, helped us refill these two miserably-small bowls with three, much to our delight – especially since Mark was starving after his night meeting…
But subsequently, when we asked for refill, we were told that our package does not include free flow of tidbits.
Weird x 1. Why did the staff, then, come in earlier and tell us we could enjoy free flow, and even replaced two bowls with three, when in the first place, we had not even thought of asking for any. They obviously forgot that they had set our expectations by doing so, and therefore, they could not blame us for being angry with such haywire communications thereafter, insisting we could not have any refills.
Weird x 2. The package was much more expensive than the normal rates – yet no FREE FLOW… How the hell did they work out that package price? Then again, the onus was also on us - we must be feeling super rich (**read: silly & stoopid) to even agree to such a deal in the 1st place… The bill came up to some $50 per pax - and that's after refusing to pay full sum due to the lousy service and "trauma" we went through...
3)Someone told us the nuggets meal would come with LOTSA fries – enough to fill Mark’s stomach. When the nuggets came, there were only a few miserable fries…
4)One of the staff, obviously unhappy that we kicked a fuss and made complaints, decided to be gung ho and walked past our room, banged the wall so hard that his action caused the wall telephone to drop.
That was the last straw to send Mrs Siang into rage…
After almost 1-2 hours of #^&$*^#^%^($^, ding dong with the staff and management, and even having watched the CCTV to ascertain who the staff was, we decided that was too much to digest in a night – which was supposed to be a night of fun and make merry…
Zonked out after all the #^*&$^%(^^
***
The Pooh car we saw when we were leaving the car park! Cute, but I don't think I would want to drive the car around town...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My brilliant **read: clumsy** gymnastics stunts – April 17, 2008
I’m in pain.
I fell.
Not once, but TWICE – all in a half-hour time frame.
First stunt
I was walking down the stairs from CCK LRT to CCK MRT. Mind wandered to something else… and the next thing I knew, I tripped, fell and slid down a few steps.
In a kneeling position.
And so, the front of my legs brushed against the edge of the steps. I managed to grab onto the railings for my dear life but only managed to slow down the tumbling-down speed.
Fortunately, a guy walking beside me managed to grab me by my arm, and hence, saved me before I reached the end of the stairs.
***
When I was on the train, for some reasons, I remembered thinking to myself why I was so clumsy and if I would fall a second time… But I immediately brushed the thought off…
***
Second stunt approximately 20 minutes later
The new crime scene was at the block of flats next to mine.
Before I knew it (again), I tripped over some entangled wire gauze and fell.
FLAT on my face. Yes, FLAT – face down; chest squashed.
I think I lay motionless face down on the cold hard concrete floor for a couple of seconds.
Too stunned to move. Too traumatized to even groan.
An auntie was nearby and just turned to look at me. But instead of coming over to help me up, she, too, stood motionless at her spot and just utter an “Aiyoh”.
***
Limped home… Opened the door to pitch-black darkness. Daddy and Mummy were away at Genting Highlands. Brother’s in Taiwan.
For some hormonal reasons perhaps, I suddenly felt so depressed.
And started crying non-stop…
Not because of the pain, but because I suddenly felt that I’m such a pathetic soul.
I hate returning to an empty house.
Worse, with my new fresh injuries, I suddenly felt so weak and needed someone to “sa-yang” me, fuss over or even nag at me for being so clumsy and careless… Anything... I needed someone to talk to, YET, ironically, I was too lazy to pick up the phone…
Instead, I logged onto MSN and told my few close frens and two colleagues who were online. They were very sweet by showing concern while trying to make me laugh – which I did because I’m very easily amused….
Was even more touched when one of them immediately called me. Even though he was so far away – in Switzerland… But I couldn’t utter much as I was choking from my own sobbing… But there he was at the other end of the line, having almost a one-way conversation trying to cheer me up.
***
Told my boss and a few other close colleagues about what happened when they asked about my swollen eyes the next day.
The more I shared with them, the more embarrassed I was regarding the crying saga… But after all the laughing and stuff, someone commented it’s weird that I had such a huge reaction the night before since I am quite an independent girl...
Or so I seem…
Well, I guess...whoever said that independent girls can't and won’t have their weak moments too?
I fell.
Not once, but TWICE – all in a half-hour time frame.
First stunt
I was walking down the stairs from CCK LRT to CCK MRT. Mind wandered to something else… and the next thing I knew, I tripped, fell and slid down a few steps.
In a kneeling position.
And so, the front of my legs brushed against the edge of the steps. I managed to grab onto the railings for my dear life but only managed to slow down the tumbling-down speed.
Fortunately, a guy walking beside me managed to grab me by my arm, and hence, saved me before I reached the end of the stairs.
***
When I was on the train, for some reasons, I remembered thinking to myself why I was so clumsy and if I would fall a second time… But I immediately brushed the thought off…
***
Second stunt approximately 20 minutes later
The new crime scene was at the block of flats next to mine.
Before I knew it (again), I tripped over some entangled wire gauze and fell.
FLAT on my face. Yes, FLAT – face down; chest squashed.
I think I lay motionless face down on the cold hard concrete floor for a couple of seconds.
Too stunned to move. Too traumatized to even groan.
An auntie was nearby and just turned to look at me. But instead of coming over to help me up, she, too, stood motionless at her spot and just utter an “Aiyoh”.
***
Limped home… Opened the door to pitch-black darkness. Daddy and Mummy were away at Genting Highlands. Brother’s in Taiwan.
For some hormonal reasons perhaps, I suddenly felt so depressed.
And started crying non-stop…
Not because of the pain, but because I suddenly felt that I’m such a pathetic soul.
I hate returning to an empty house.
Worse, with my new fresh injuries, I suddenly felt so weak and needed someone to “sa-yang” me, fuss over or even nag at me for being so clumsy and careless… Anything... I needed someone to talk to, YET, ironically, I was too lazy to pick up the phone…
Instead, I logged onto MSN and told my few close frens and two colleagues who were online. They were very sweet by showing concern while trying to make me laugh – which I did because I’m very easily amused….
Was even more touched when one of them immediately called me. Even though he was so far away – in Switzerland… But I couldn’t utter much as I was choking from my own sobbing… But there he was at the other end of the line, having almost a one-way conversation trying to cheer me up.
***
Told my boss and a few other close colleagues about what happened when they asked about my swollen eyes the next day.
The more I shared with them, the more embarrassed I was regarding the crying saga… But after all the laughing and stuff, someone commented it’s weird that I had such a huge reaction the night before since I am quite an independent girl...
Or so I seem…
Well, I guess...whoever said that independent girls can't and won’t have their weak moments too?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
女人心语录 II
你从不知每当要看见你的那一刻，都好想在你出现时仆向你，然后紧紧地抱住你； 再告诉你我是多么，多么地中意你。。。可是，每当你出现向我走过来时，我却因为所谓女人的矜持，而只是装无所谓地跟你打了个普通的招呼，然后和你说天说地，却就是说不出我其实真的好喜欢，好喜欢你。。。
你曾说过谢谢我陪你去吃饭，听你发牢骚，还忍受你的冷笑话；可你怎知那是因为我好想, 好想你？
我们何时变得那么陌生，对彼此如此地客气？爱很脆弱，你说是吗？也许我们早已不知不觉推翻了一切， 因为我们都忘了去在乎彼此的感觉。
这年头，爱情也许不能再相信，也从来没有所谓的白马王子或白雪公主； 也没有人还有那种心情，去真的跟你刻骨铭心，天荒地老，天长地久。。。
从没怀疑过你给我的爱。。。但只要你的最爱还是她，我永远只是一个代替品，不是吗?
你曾说过谢谢我陪你去吃饭，听你发牢骚，还忍受你的冷笑话；可你怎知那是因为我好想, 好想你？
我们何时变得那么陌生，对彼此如此地客气？爱很脆弱，你说是吗？也许我们早已不知不觉推翻了一切， 因为我们都忘了去在乎彼此的感觉。
这年头，爱情也许不能再相信，也从来没有所谓的白马王子或白雪公主； 也没有人还有那种心情，去真的跟你刻骨铭心，天荒地老，天长地久。。。
从没怀疑过你给我的爱。。。但只要你的最爱还是她，我永远只是一个代替品，不是吗?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
The things man and woman do for love…
I always wonder why is it that people tell me “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, YET AT THE SAME TIME say “Out of sight, out of mind”.
I also always wonder why and how people can enter into a relationship with the mentality that it will still ultimately fail.
Don't you enter into a relationship hoping to make it work, regardless of whatever ups and downs you two are going to face in the future? Doesn't "going through thick and thin" make the relationship even closer?
Granted, things might go haywire along the way and you two might want to just give up and call it quits to save each other further misery.
But, this is different if you enter into a relationship with the mentality that it will still fail - because with that mentality, you will just give up at the slightest hiccup, since subconsciously, you have already decided that the relationship won't work out anyway, so why not just enjoy it while it lasts.
Hmmm.. Not sure if I am making my point... Anyway, the topic of love and relationships has been popping up among the people around me recently…
Man
It’s heartwarming to see how a man gets all excited and tries to strategise his every move just so he can lay his paws on his prey. (I think I make them sound like a beast… hahah) The tug of war playing in his mind – whether to woo the woman aggressively, how not to scare her away, yet making sure somehow, she receives the (secret, telepathic) signals he has been sending her. How to get her to say yes to go out for lunch or dinner with him…
I can’t really remember how I actually got myself embroiled into this situation, in which I have to act as my friend’s “spy”. It’s weird since I remembered telling my friend that I’m not close to his target prey at all, and me being a love cynic, may just make a mess out of everything and crush his ego, hopes and what have you…
Like what one of my other friends say, it has been a long time since we see someone being so enthusiastic about the pursuit game. So we decided to give him our blessings and hope that his prey has received his secret telepathic signals and responds positively!
Woman
It’s funny to see how a woman per se prepares for her date with the man she likes. She has to prepare minimally one week before the date for manicure, pedicure, and a nice hair cut/hair perm/hair rebonding.
Not forgetting choosing the perfect outfit to wear that day, sashaying and dancing in front of the mirror to make sure that stupid protruding little tummy hides itself well underneath that outfit. “Do I look fat?”, “Does this look flattering?”, “What accessories would complement the outfit?” are just some of the questions running through her mind…
This was what one of my gal frens went through to prepare for her BIG date. I’m sure all of us have gone through that stage before, or even now. I am also so guilty of this. But what's wrong with wanting to look your best in front of your date and have his eyes on you throughout the date?
And so, I concluded this applies to all females regardless of age. Who says the jittery anticipation of your date collecting you only applies to the younger gals?
I also always wonder why and how people can enter into a relationship with the mentality that it will still ultimately fail.
Don't you enter into a relationship hoping to make it work, regardless of whatever ups and downs you two are going to face in the future? Doesn't "going through thick and thin" make the relationship even closer?
Granted, things might go haywire along the way and you two might want to just give up and call it quits to save each other further misery.
But, this is different if you enter into a relationship with the mentality that it will still fail - because with that mentality, you will just give up at the slightest hiccup, since subconsciously, you have already decided that the relationship won't work out anyway, so why not just enjoy it while it lasts.
Hmmm.. Not sure if I am making my point... Anyway, the topic of love and relationships has been popping up among the people around me recently…
Man
It’s heartwarming to see how a man gets all excited and tries to strategise his every move just so he can lay his paws on his prey. (I think I make them sound like a beast… hahah) The tug of war playing in his mind – whether to woo the woman aggressively, how not to scare her away, yet making sure somehow, she receives the (secret, telepathic) signals he has been sending her. How to get her to say yes to go out for lunch or dinner with him…
I can’t really remember how I actually got myself embroiled into this situation, in which I have to act as my friend’s “spy”. It’s weird since I remembered telling my friend that I’m not close to his target prey at all, and me being a love cynic, may just make a mess out of everything and crush his ego, hopes and what have you…
Like what one of my other friends say, it has been a long time since we see someone being so enthusiastic about the pursuit game. So we decided to give him our blessings and hope that his prey has received his secret telepathic signals and responds positively!
Woman
It’s funny to see how a woman per se prepares for her date with the man she likes. She has to prepare minimally one week before the date for manicure, pedicure, and a nice hair cut/hair perm/hair rebonding.
Not forgetting choosing the perfect outfit to wear that day, sashaying and dancing in front of the mirror to make sure that stupid protruding little tummy hides itself well underneath that outfit. “Do I look fat?”, “Does this look flattering?”, “What accessories would complement the outfit?” are just some of the questions running through her mind…
This was what one of my gal frens went through to prepare for her BIG date. I’m sure all of us have gone through that stage before, or even now. I am also so guilty of this. But what's wrong with wanting to look your best in front of your date and have his eyes on you throughout the date?
And so, I concluded this applies to all females regardless of age. Who says the jittery anticipation of your date collecting you only applies to the younger gals?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Congrats to Cen - my favourite "story teller"!
I’m still impressed with myself on how I actually came up with these few blurbs back then. Brilliant, dun you agree?
OK OK… Before you puke… On a more serious note…
Had an enjoyable time hanging out with Cen on Wed evening… Seems like travelling back to the good old days when we always had to rush to catch theatrical plays after work…
This time, even though we arranged to meet earlier, dinner was still done in a rush, simply because we spent too much time walking around and deciding which F&B outlet to go to! As usual - what's new, right?
Cen's considering to buy a camera and she's trying out mine... And I was "complaining" why she took a photo of the soup - after I made a mess out of it... But she "argued" it's "arty farty"...
Our food! We gobbled them down in some 10-15 minutes! Not becos we were starving but becos that was all we had if we did not want to be refused entry to the play!
And I always enjoy Cen narrating to me the plots of movies and/or HK drama serials she had recently watched…
Granted - she does sometimes miss a few segments here and there, or tell me “I dun understand that part…” or “I can’t really remember what happen…” but still, she manages to, somehow, pull off a good job in putting the story together…
Like last night, before the play, during intermission and on the way back home, she was sharing with me the plot of Rule #1. Brilliant. Having watched the trailer, I could somehow “re-enacted” and “watched” the story in my mind…
This little gal fren of mine, who is a head-turner and whom I always treat as my little sister, is finally properly getting married in June! Very happy for her!
And I wonder if she has emailed that request to XXX to use the place for her wedding photo shoot! Am glad I could give her some ideas on where to take her photos, instead of the usual outdoor places you see in everyone’s album! The lalang (is that how you spell that feathery weed?), the bridge, the parliament building, what have you…
Cen - the hot babe mama who still looks great ever!
Certainly look forward to catching more arty-farty performances with her in the near future! (and maybe her other fun gal buddies too – somehow, her clique has all the very “chio” gals like Del la, Xin la..! ) Yeah!
**Note: no no, I’m straight. And I’m not falling head over heels for Cen, Del or Xin, though they are seriously very "chio"… But you see, birds of the same feather usually flock together… which means, I’m trying to rub some of their “chio-ness” on myself, if ever that can somehow possibly happen…
Hmmm.. I’m not talking sense here… think it’s time for bed… zzz…
***Note: And I'm not sure what went wrong with my template layout... It has been some time since I last do my HTML layout using those "codes" and somehow, I can't seem to get rid of the money sign before my "Bubbs' Blinks"... Darn...
I miss Cen and Jiahui.. They would know what to do and teach me!
OK OK… Before you puke… On a more serious note…
Had an enjoyable time hanging out with Cen on Wed evening… Seems like travelling back to the good old days when we always had to rush to catch theatrical plays after work…
This time, even though we arranged to meet earlier, dinner was still done in a rush, simply because we spent too much time walking around and deciding which F&B outlet to go to! As usual - what's new, right?
Cen's considering to buy a camera and she's trying out mine... And I was "complaining" why she took a photo of the soup - after I made a mess out of it... But she "argued" it's "arty farty"...
Our food! We gobbled them down in some 10-15 minutes! Not becos we were starving but becos that was all we had if we did not want to be refused entry to the play!
And I always enjoy Cen narrating to me the plots of movies and/or HK drama serials she had recently watched…
Granted - she does sometimes miss a few segments here and there, or tell me “I dun understand that part…” or “I can’t really remember what happen…” but still, she manages to, somehow, pull off a good job in putting the story together…
Like last night, before the play, during intermission and on the way back home, she was sharing with me the plot of Rule #1. Brilliant. Having watched the trailer, I could somehow “re-enacted” and “watched” the story in my mind…
This little gal fren of mine, who is a head-turner and whom I always treat as my little sister, is finally properly getting married in June! Very happy for her!
And I wonder if she has emailed that request to XXX to use the place for her wedding photo shoot! Am glad I could give her some ideas on where to take her photos, instead of the usual outdoor places you see in everyone’s album! The lalang (is that how you spell that feathery weed?), the bridge, the parliament building, what have you…
Cen - the hot babe mama who still looks great ever!
Certainly look forward to catching more arty-farty performances with her in the near future! (and maybe her other fun gal buddies too – somehow, her clique has all the very “chio” gals like Del la, Xin la..! ) Yeah!
**Note: no no, I’m straight. And I’m not falling head over heels for Cen, Del or Xin, though they are seriously very "chio"… But you see, birds of the same feather usually flock together… which means, I’m trying to rub some of their “chio-ness” on myself, if ever that can somehow possibly happen…
Hmmm.. I’m not talking sense here… think it’s time for bed… zzz…
***Note: And I'm not sure what went wrong with my template layout... It has been some time since I last do my HTML layout using those "codes" and somehow, I can't seem to get rid of the money sign before my "Bubbs' Blinks"... Darn...
I miss Cen and Jiahui.. They would know what to do and teach me!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
JC "mini-reunion" at "mini pet farm" ~ March 14, 2008!
The Great Dane - Blanket
The Husky - Jewel
Jewel & Blanket - Why does Jewel seem to be gasping for air?
Blanket's too tall for Jewel
One of the toucans - they are so beautiful that we wonder if they are fake...
So what do you think? Real or fake?
The Koi "river"
Bloss & Bubbs by the Koi "river", with Bubbs actually secretly contemplating to push Bloss into the water...
The little pheasant who's called... Ghee? Ghwee? I can't remember.. A pity we were not able to capture a shot of the colourful one - it's very good at hiding from us...
And we are missing the pair of mandarin ducks who are so "snobbish" - they ran/swam away each time we tried to go near to take photos... Bleah!
And the little gray/silver-feathered parrot who said "hello" only to moi! Am I lucky!
The little garden outside the bedroom where someone does his sun- and moon-tanning!
Ever tried taking your shower under the moon and stars? I wonder what happens when you are halfway taking your shower and some birds decide to fly past and poo right on your head...
PPGs trying to "自拍" with the cheena floral backdrop in the living room... I love this backdrop!
The "judge" lectured me that I should behave like a dainty gal & not try to sit on the thing since I'm in a skirt. But who cares? I insisted I have the skills to ensure I'm "covered". But still, in case of "accidental indecent exposure", we had him leave the place when I tried to get off...
And I wonder why Butter had to "hide" behind me for both photos...
In Bloss' words, I must have found theirs too puny and thus, I helped cover them up to save them from further embarassment!
More of such red statues standing around
We all love him... don't we?
Each of us tried to pose like the "kiam pak" guy in the drawing but somehow, the X factor seemed to be missing... **read: so unglam!!**
Back to "those were the days"... Everything was so simple and innocent back then, or so I thought...
The aftermath - the crooning session which Bubbs owe everyone...
The Husky - Jewel
Jewel & Blanket - Why does Jewel seem to be gasping for air?
Blanket's too tall for Jewel
One of the toucans - they are so beautiful that we wonder if they are fake...
So what do you think? Real or fake?
The Koi "river"
Bloss & Bubbs by the Koi "river", with Bubbs actually secretly contemplating to push Bloss into the water...
The little pheasant who's called... Ghee? Ghwee? I can't remember.. A pity we were not able to capture a shot of the colourful one - it's very good at hiding from us...
And we are missing the pair of mandarin ducks who are so "snobbish" - they ran/swam away each time we tried to go near to take photos... Bleah!
And the little gray/silver-feathered parrot who said "hello" only to moi! Am I lucky!
The little garden outside the bedroom where someone does his sun- and moon-tanning!
Ever tried taking your shower under the moon and stars? I wonder what happens when you are halfway taking your shower and some birds decide to fly past and poo right on your head...
PPGs trying to "自拍" with the cheena floral backdrop in the living room... I love this backdrop!
The "judge" lectured me that I should behave like a dainty gal & not try to sit on the thing since I'm in a skirt. But who cares? I insisted I have the skills to ensure I'm "covered". But still, in case of "accidental indecent exposure", we had him leave the place when I tried to get off...
And I wonder why Butter had to "hide" behind me for both photos...
In Bloss' words, I must have found theirs too puny and thus, I helped cover them up to save them from further embarassment!
More of such red statues standing around
We all love him... don't we?
Each of us tried to pose like the "kiam pak" guy in the drawing but somehow, the X factor seemed to be missing... **read: so unglam!!**
Back to "those were the days"... Everything was so simple and innocent back then, or so I thought...
The aftermath - the crooning session which Bubbs owe everyone...
Sunday, February 10, 2008
鼠年 年初二, February 8, 2008
每年的年初二，我们所有表兄弟姐妹都会做同一件事。 到二舅家霸个好位子 - 从白天就这么坐到黑夜。。。 所谓的好位子就是在两架电视机前面的沙发。
And then it's TV programmes, TV programmes, and more TV programmes + CNY goodies, CNY goodies and more CNY goodies + soft drinks/beer, soft drinks/beer and more soft drinks/beer...
And with a bit of chit chat here and there... There wasn't much catching up to do among us because we are all very close to one another, so we all knew what each of us has been up to these days (to which most of our respective friends are rather amazed at our super-close cousin relationship...)
Kind of boring... Was sms-ing my fren that I was about to turn into a stone statue there...
This year, my uncle & auntie decided to save the trouble of cooking and call for KFC/pizza delivery for dinner... From the photos, make a guess... how many pieces of chicken did they order?
120 pieces of chicken!!!
Not forgetting the chicken nuggets and chicken popcorn, coleslaw and whipped potato! Gosh.... Imagine how all our eyes widened in shock when we saw the boxes... And we also found out that the delivery man actually took a cab to do the delivery instead of using the usual delivery bike we always see on the road!!!
Not only this, we also had six large pizzas + fried rice + soup.... Oh and Yu Sheng!!!
捞啊捞啊！捞个风生水起！祝大家在鼠年：
身体健康，事业步步高升，爱情/婚姻甜甜蜜蜜！ HUAT AH!!!
**my uncles/aunties with the "younger generation" all standing on stools at the back to watch...**
And then it's TV programmes, TV programmes, and more TV programmes + CNY goodies, CNY goodies and more CNY goodies + soft drinks/beer, soft drinks/beer and more soft drinks/beer...
And with a bit of chit chat here and there... There wasn't much catching up to do among us because we are all very close to one another, so we all knew what each of us has been up to these days (to which most of our respective friends are rather amazed at our super-close cousin relationship...)
Kind of boring... Was sms-ing my fren that I was about to turn into a stone statue there...
This year, my uncle & auntie decided to save the trouble of cooking and call for KFC/pizza delivery for dinner... From the photos, make a guess... how many pieces of chicken did they order?
120 pieces of chicken!!!
Not forgetting the chicken nuggets and chicken popcorn, coleslaw and whipped potato! Gosh.... Imagine how all our eyes widened in shock when we saw the boxes... And we also found out that the delivery man actually took a cab to do the delivery instead of using the usual delivery bike we always see on the road!!!
Not only this, we also had six large pizzas + fried rice + soup.... Oh and Yu Sheng!!!
捞啊捞啊！捞个风生水起！祝大家在鼠年：
身体健康，事业步步高升，爱情/婚姻甜甜蜜蜜！ HUAT AH!!!
**my uncles/aunties with the "younger generation" all standing on stools at the back to watch...**
