1. 再難也要堅持。
2. 再好也要淡泊。
3. 再差也要自信。
4. 再多也要珍惜。
5 再冷也要熱情。
加油，變成比昨天更好的自己！
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Year end jitters
The last two weeks of 2011. It’s
scary how time flies.
For some reasons, I’m actually feeling year end jitters. Uneasy.
And I absolutely don’t like this feeling.
It’s the feeling like you still have some unfinished business, yet you
have no idea what it is… Or maybe you know, but you just are not brave enough
to face it.
A lot of things are running through my mind. Stressed at work, stressed about mum,
stressed about myself, and stressed about everything and anything.
I think I’m getting neurotic.
I get upset very easily, and even at the slightest thing and I tear so
easily. Though I have wanted to push
the blame to “that time of the month”.
But I know it’s not.
One bestie told me one night that I should start thinking more for
myself, instead of letting all the 101 other things weigh me down that
much. She says that I worry and think too much for others, and maybe that’s why I am also starting to complain that my
grey hairs are popping out.
And guess what? When we were
about to part ways and she told me to remember to give her a call any day any
time, when I just want to lash out, I just cried. See?
That’s what I meant I’m getting neurotic.
The jitters are really getting into me.
Such that there are days words just don’t come to me. I can’t express myself properly and end up
hemming and hawing – even when I’m with friends. Blah…
I really hope I will hear some good news this coming week. At least, there will be some things off my
cluttered mind. And if it turns out good, I can welcome 2012 with gusto!
Pray for me. J
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 04, 2011
《撑着》
撑着
多心酸和沉重的字眼 。
问：最近 你和他/她还好吧？
撑着 说的人，在试着隐藏他/她内心其实真的好无助和恐慌；
听的人，听得出他/她的百般无奈吗？
多心酸和沉重的字眼 。
问：最近 工作还好吗？
答：还过得去吧。吃不胖，饿不死，在撑着吧。。。
问：最近 你和他/她还好吧？
答：还好吧。。。撑着咯。。。
撑着
听的人，听得出他/她的百般无奈吗？
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
S.T.U.D.Y.?
Finally got my butt moving in reading up on the different courses. And then I get all overwhelmed by all the information and my own questions...
W got to know that I am entertaining the thought of pursuing a MBA and suggested that we should take it together. Especially since she is planning to start end this year or early next year, depending on the next intake.
And she started to get all excited and said then it would be good to be tutorial mates again - after 10 years. (damn. that's a pretty long time ago.)
The extent of her excitement goes as far as a suggestion on how we should study and help each other out in the presentations or projects amid our work schedule.
But what she forgot is her impression of me was that of 10 years ago. While I think she is still as aggressive as before, I think I am honestly losing steam.
One thing I realised is most marketing students suck at financial accounting or financial management. Hah.
While she was rattling on and on, I found myself asking...
But then again, if some of my friends have done it, some are doing it now, and can do it... I should have no problem, right? It still boils down to discipline, determination and time management, right?
Oh well... I think I better start to go back and read the brochures more carefully again...
- Should I just take a graduate diploma or a MBA or a MSc in Marketing or a MComm?
- Which University is good, since I never really believe in private schools issuing overseas universities' certificates?
- Or what about courses jointly offered by those professional organizations like Marketing Institute of Singapore and NUS?
- UK universities? Australian universities?
W got to know that I am entertaining the thought of pursuing a MBA and suggested that we should take it together. Especially since she is planning to start end this year or early next year, depending on the next intake.
And she started to get all excited and said then it would be good to be tutorial mates again - after 10 years. (damn. that's a pretty long time ago.)
The extent of her excitement goes as far as a suggestion on how we should study and help each other out in the presentations or projects amid our work schedule.
But what she forgot is her impression of me was that of 10 years ago. While I think she is still as aggressive as before, I think I am honestly losing steam.
One thing I realised is most marketing students suck at financial accounting or financial management. Hah.
While she was rattling on and on, I found myself asking...
- Would I still have the energy to burn midnight oil for assignments or do tutorials?
- Would I still be so disciplined to study after work and burn my weekends burying myself in notes?
- Would I then turn into a grumpy lady, if I find my free time burnt? As of it is now, I find myself throwing temper at myself if I don't have enough own me-time or rest.
But then again, if some of my friends have done it, some are doing it now, and can do it... I should have no problem, right? It still boils down to discipline, determination and time management, right?
Oh well... I think I better start to go back and read the brochures more carefully again...
Happily Ever After
So I realise I am not the only one who swear by this...
That being able to still believe in fairytales takes more than a lot of faith.
That while I still think I believe in "happily ever after", I have to admit that it is, sadly, rare.
Read this from a friend's blog... that
"...your knight in shining armour may actually pass you by in beggars' clothes because he just did his laundry. Did you keep your eyes open? I know I didn't."
I found myself smiling when I read the laundry part. Hah! And...
"...for every happily ever/walking into the sunset, etc you read, you must remember, there is always a little matchgirl, or the little mermaid."
How sad. (OK. I know little matchgirl died. But what happened to little mermaid?)
That being able to still believe in fairytales takes more than a lot of faith.
That while I still think I believe in "happily ever after", I have to admit that it is, sadly, rare.
Read this from a friend's blog... that
"...your knight in shining armour may actually pass you by in beggars' clothes because he just did his laundry. Did you keep your eyes open? I know I didn't."
I found myself smiling when I read the laundry part. Hah! And...
"...for every happily ever/walking into the sunset, etc you read, you must remember, there is always a little matchgirl, or the little mermaid."
How sad.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
End May - June 2011
I have a few people asking me why I haven't been updating my blog recently.
Well, I was busy, tired. No, I think I was physically exhausted.
It has been a super packed month - such that I was getting emotionally unstable due to the lack of rest and sleep. During the week, I worked till quite late almost every day - either staying back in office or going for tuition. I became very quick tempered and didn't want to really talk to anyone. I just want to get the job(s) done.
Last weekend of May
This weekend was kinda 自找one.
It all started with me wanting to go Lombok in late May and happened to mention my intention to a friend - whom, to my surprise, immediately agreed and said let's go. But somehow, for some dunno-what-shitty-reason, the conversation suddenly switched from going to Lombok to Club Med Bintan. And the more we discussed, the more I realised she was quite insistent on going to Club Med.
I tried the subtle way in rejecting going to Club Med, but failed. Instead, she kinda succeeded in gettng her message across to me that Club Med Bintan shall be the destination. And suddenly, it became my fault for not wanting to travel.
It reminded me of what I blogged before.
That many women are very skilful in this - saying "I don't know." or "Anything." or "Í'm OK. You decide." And if you take it at face value, and make your suggestion, they will go "Sounds good. But... ..."
What you don't realise is that they will overthrow all your suggestions and slowly kills you with exasperation and frustration. And the best part is? When things fall apart, it will somehow end up being your fault!
Ahhh...
I am guilty of this too, but I think some of my girl friends are so much better at this - even to me! Gosh... I pity the guys. Cos as a woman, if I can't stand such behaviour, I wonder how the guys do - each and every time.
I must make a mental note not to do this anymore.
So anyway, back to my story, when I decided to stop being subtle and directly told her that I didn't think it was worth $700+ to go Club Med Bintan, she threw her temper and said I spoiled her plans for a short getaway!
Huh? I was upset that she was upset with me. Over things like these. Nonetheless, to appease her, I found a trip to Batam over the weekend, and told her "take it or leave it."
She took it and I just psycho-ed myself to get the trip over and done with. At least, I had an early night that night!
Never such unhappy planning again!
First weekend
It was Bloss' hen's night. I was sick. Very. With sore throat and super part-running-part-blocked nose. But it was Bloss' hen's night. I must be present!
And so off I go, in my half-sick-half-sober state. Fortunately for me, we had a pampering session instead of a wild party. We started off with a massage at Holland Village, followed by wash-and-blow hair session at Marina Square, dinner at One Fullerton and ended off with drinks at One Altitude.
Didn't really like going back to Raffles Place area during a weekend. But Bloss hasn't been to the area, particularly One Altitude - so we decided to bring her there.
Hope she had enjoyed herself.
By the time I reached home during the wee hours, I immediately concussed. And still had to wake up early to go tuition. =( And called off a belated birthday lunch session with a friend, who, luckily, understood I needed the remaining half-day weekend to rest.
Second weekendI had long arranged with another friend to go into Johor this weekend for karting and seafood. But because I was very tired, I asked the friend if it was possible to find another friend to take my place instead. Failed.
And so, off I go to Johor. This was not so bad because I love karting! And it was fun! With the drizzle. Hah.
I must go again!
Belated birthday lunch on Sunday with the friend whom I flew kite the previous week, and ended up home at only 5 pm plus... Tired...
Third weekend
It was Beerfest. I was supposed to go but ended up working OT until 3 am in office. Friends started calling me in their half-drunk state. Waited for me until 2 am plus, when we all finally concluded I was not going to make it down in time. Not even to meet them for supper.
And then, it was Bloss' wedding. Truly happy for her that she found a man who loves her back as deeply.
As I always believe, honestly, girls don't need a memorable wedding. They need a memorable marriage. Their wedding was kept simple. Ok - but still, there were certain logistics to take care of.
And the groom was late in coming to pick her! Goodness. Apparently, the brothers went to the wrong place to pick the groom... Oh well, but fortunately, all seemed to go well thereafter!
Fourth weekend
I was supposed to meet another friend for a belated birthday dinner on Thursday. But I had to go for dinner with my regional colleague, so had to cancel it.
And we had wanted to meet on Wednesday too. But the work event ended late. Later than previous years. Honestly, this year, I don't think the event was well-run. It was a bit tad chaotic. But for some reason, the senior management seemed impressed and praised us for a good event night! Oh well, so long as they are happy.
And I honestly hate it when guys try to be "funny" on the pretext that they are high or drunk. It's OK if I'm a willing party, but I'm not! Bleah!
Someone came up to me and my boss, and wanted a hug from each of us. I immediately turned black faced, turned away and pretended to be busy and ignored him. And he still walked up to me, and asked me straight in my face why I always ignore him. Duh.
And the next thing I knew, he gave me a super tight hug. The only fortunate thing was I managed to turn such that my shoulder and elbow were towards him, and I was carrying a file in front of me. And the worst part was, his hug was so tight, I couldn't even budge!
I think I gave such a disgusted look and kept rolling my eyes, while trying to wriggle my way out, that someone saw it and tried to get me out of that situation, by initially saying to eventually shouting, "XX, you can't be for real. Come on. Look, you are suffocating her. Let her go. She can't breathe and is turning blue. Let her go now and let's go off!"
And off he did. To hug my boss. Whispered in her ear, and then kissed her cheek. Yucks!
Fine. I'm OK if one tries to be eng moh, and act all friendly with the hugs and pecks. But those were obviously not friendly gestures. Those were "eat toufu" gestures. Eeks.
Everyone thought I would have some breather after the event on Wednesday, but no. I still had so many things to write and do. Sigh...
In the end, I cancelled my Friday dinner and also rejected a colleague's farewell dinner. I decided to just go home and sleep.
Slept from 10 pm on Friday night to 10 am. Then sleep again from 1030 pm on Saturday to 830 am.
Bliss. I love my bed. It's 10-ish pm now. I think I want to go to bed again! Night people!
Well, I was busy, tired. No, I think I was physically exhausted.
It has been a super packed month - such that I was getting emotionally unstable due to the lack of rest and sleep. During the week, I worked till quite late almost every day - either staying back in office or going for tuition. I became very quick tempered and didn't want to really talk to anyone. I just want to get the job(s) done.
Last weekend of May
This weekend was kinda 自找one.
It all started with me wanting to go Lombok in late May and happened to mention my intention to a friend - whom, to my surprise, immediately agreed and said let's go. But somehow, for some dunno-what-shitty-reason, the conversation suddenly switched from going to Lombok to Club Med Bintan. And the more we discussed, the more I realised she was quite insistent on going to Club Med.
I tried the subtle way in rejecting going to Club Med, but failed. Instead, she kinda succeeded in gettng her message across to me that Club Med Bintan shall be the destination. And suddenly, it became my fault for not wanting to travel.
It reminded me of what I blogged before.
That many women are very skilful in this - saying "I don't know." or "Anything." or "Í'm OK. You decide." And if you take it at face value, and make your suggestion, they will go "Sounds good. But... ..."
What you don't realise is that they will overthrow all your suggestions and slowly kills you with exasperation and frustration. And the best part is? When things fall apart, it will somehow end up being your fault!
Ahhh...
I am guilty of this too, but I think some of my girl friends are so much better at this - even to me! Gosh... I pity the guys. Cos as a woman, if I can't stand such behaviour, I wonder how the guys do - each and every time.
I must make a mental note not to do this anymore.
So anyway, back to my story, when I decided to stop being subtle and directly told her that I didn't think it was worth $700+ to go Club Med Bintan, she threw her temper and said I spoiled her plans for a short getaway!
Huh? I was upset that she was upset with me. Over things like these. Nonetheless, to appease her, I found a trip to Batam over the weekend, and told her "take it or leave it."
She took it and I just psycho-ed myself to get the trip over and done with. At least, I had an early night that night!
Never such unhappy planning again!
First weekend
It was Bloss' hen's night. I was sick. Very. With sore throat and super part-running-part-blocked nose. But it was Bloss' hen's night. I must be present!
And so off I go, in my half-sick-half-sober state. Fortunately for me, we had a pampering session instead of a wild party. We started off with a massage at Holland Village, followed by wash-and-blow hair session at Marina Square, dinner at One Fullerton and ended off with drinks at One Altitude.
 |
| At the salon: See I can't even open my eyes anymore! |
Didn't really like going back to Raffles Place area during a weekend. But Bloss hasn't been to the area, particularly One Altitude - so we decided to bring her there.
Hope she had enjoyed herself.
By the time I reached home during the wee hours, I immediately concussed. And still had to wake up early to go tuition. =( And called off a belated birthday lunch session with a friend, who, luckily, understood I needed the remaining half-day weekend to rest.
Second weekend
And so, off I go to Johor. This was not so bad because I love karting! And it was fun! With the drizzle. Hah.
I must go again!
Belated birthday lunch on Sunday with the friend whom I flew kite the previous week, and ended up home at only 5 pm plus... Tired...
Third weekend
It was Beerfest. I was supposed to go but ended up working OT until 3 am in office. Friends started calling me in their half-drunk state. Waited for me until 2 am plus, when we all finally concluded I was not going to make it down in time. Not even to meet them for supper.
And then, it was Bloss' wedding. Truly happy for her that she found a man who loves her back as deeply.
As I always believe, honestly, girls don't need a memorable wedding. They need a memorable marriage. Their wedding was kept simple. Ok - but still, there were certain logistics to take care of.
And the groom was late in coming to pick her! Goodness. Apparently, the brothers went to the wrong place to pick the groom... Oh well, but fortunately, all seemed to go well thereafter!
 |
| The PPGs - Bloss' wedding day! |
Fourth weekend
I was supposed to meet another friend for a belated birthday dinner on Thursday. But I had to go for dinner with my regional colleague, so had to cancel it.
And we had wanted to meet on Wednesday too. But the work event ended late. Later than previous years. Honestly, this year, I don't think the event was well-run. It was a bit tad chaotic. But for some reason, the senior management seemed impressed and praised us for a good event night! Oh well, so long as they are happy.
And I honestly hate it when guys try to be "funny" on the pretext that they are high or drunk. It's OK if I'm a willing party, but I'm not! Bleah!
Someone came up to me and my boss, and wanted a hug from each of us. I immediately turned black faced, turned away and pretended to be busy and ignored him. And he still walked up to me, and asked me straight in my face why I always ignore him. Duh.
And the next thing I knew, he gave me a super tight hug. The only fortunate thing was I managed to turn such that my shoulder and elbow were towards him, and I was carrying a file in front of me. And the worst part was, his hug was so tight, I couldn't even budge!
I think I gave such a disgusted look and kept rolling my eyes, while trying to wriggle my way out, that someone saw it and tried to get me out of that situation, by initially saying to eventually shouting, "XX, you can't be for real. Come on. Look, you are suffocating her. Let her go. She can't breathe and is turning blue. Let her go now and let's go off!"
And off he did. To hug my boss. Whispered in her ear, and then kissed her cheek. Yucks!
Fine. I'm OK if one tries to be eng moh, and act all friendly with the hugs and pecks. But those were obviously not friendly gestures. Those were "eat toufu" gestures. Eeks.
 |
| I love the poster wall at the smoking area! Hah! |
Everyone thought I would have some breather after the event on Wednesday, but no. I still had so many things to write and do. Sigh...
In the end, I cancelled my Friday dinner and also rejected a colleague's farewell dinner. I decided to just go home and sleep.
Slept from 10 pm on Friday night to 10 am. Then sleep again from 1030 pm on Saturday to 830 am.
Bliss. I love my bed. It's 10-ish pm now. I think I want to go to bed again! Night people!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
This speaks to me...
Read my horoscope for May and this is what it says...
"You'll have certain tendency toward depression. The problem, in fact, is that you want to have everything immediately. Be more patient, and everything will fare better and better. You'll risk going from absolute bliss to the deepest sorrow, without transition, for a small dispute, a little worry!"
How true. :(
"You'll have certain tendency toward depression. The problem, in fact, is that you want to have everything immediately. Be more patient, and everything will fare better and better. You'll risk going from absolute bliss to the deepest sorrow, without transition, for a small dispute, a little worry!"
How true. :(
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Dress hunting for June!
好姐妹要嫁人了！
这一次，她对婚礼的要求比较多。 是好事。
因为这代表她的 在意和在乎，所以会有要求和期盼。
I helped to plan, find and coordinate the wedding - from photography to wedding invite, to wedding venue decor, among others.
Honestly speaking, she's an easy-to-please bride. There are a lot of things, which honestly, I would not have agreed to. But she's OK. She's the bride. So if she's OK with not having some things, or not having what I thought could have been better, I leave it to her.
A sneek preview to her wedding photo! **Oops! I hope she won't scold me for sharing it first!**
The dinos!
We went dress hunting for the sisters yesterday and here are the few dresses we tried on!
这一次，她对婚礼的要求比较多。 是好事。
因为这代表她的 在意和在乎，所以会有要求和期盼。
I helped to plan, find and coordinate the wedding - from photography to wedding invite, to wedding venue decor, among others.
Honestly speaking, she's an easy-to-please bride. There are a lot of things, which honestly, I would not have agreed to. But she's OK. She's the bride. So if she's OK with not having some things, or not having what I thought could have been better, I leave it to her.
A sneek preview to her wedding photo! **Oops! I hope she won't scold me for sharing it first!**
The dinos!
We went dress hunting for the sisters yesterday and here are the few dresses we tried on!
 |
| Dress 1: But it's a tad too short.. Out it goes. |
 |
| Dress 2: For the evening. But again, it's too short for Sista No. 3. So no deal. :( |
 |
Dress 3: For the day-time. The photo does not really do the dress justice. We swear it looks better. Both Cheryl & I like this but too bad, it does not fit Sista Number 3. =( So out it goes. |
 |
| Dress 4: We love the tutu. But due to its impracticality after the wedding, we decided it's a no-go. :( |
 |
Dress 5: I always love bubble dresses. Suit my bubbly personality. Hah! But we thought this is too normal, and it's a bit tad pricey for made-to-order or MTM. So no more BUBBLES. :( |
 |
| Dress 6: Another variation from the tutu dress. But we decided it kinda looked blah after some time. So nope. Out it goes! |
 |
| Dress 7: After trying many many many dresses, we finally settled on this. Turquoise tube flair dress with a cream white satin ribbon. Simple and seemingly common. But we thought we can at least wear this to dinners and also, it's quite a deal at S$70 for made-to-order dress! And the shop owner turns out to be my school mate, so she is not charging us for alterations. Cool! |
Sunday, May 01, 2011
王子公主结婚了！
Watched the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton on BBC.
Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge, is simply gorgeous on one of the most significant days in her life.
I love her gown. Simple. Feminine. Understated elegance.
Lovely couple from what I gathered on screen. They fell in love, broke up and got back together.
他们的结合真的好童话般似的。 祝福他们！
Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge, is simply gorgeous on one of the most significant days in her life.
I love her gown. Simple. Feminine. Understated elegance.
Lovely couple from what I gathered on screen. They fell in love, broke up and got back together.
他们的结合真的好童话般似的。 祝福他们！
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Inspired.
I’m glad boss couldn’t go to the conference and I had to go in her place instead. Meeting marketers from other industries is always refreshing for a change. You will then realise that the marketing world you are living in is really far too myopic. At least, for me.
I looked through the list of delegates and I realised I was the only small fry there. All the designations were big. Chief Marketing Officers la; Regional Marketing Directors la; Head of Global Marketing la, etc from companies like Facebook, M1, Nokia, Ogilvy, SingTel, Standard Chartered Bank, etc. I almost didn’t want to exchange name cards. But that’s beside the point…
You also then realise that these top-notch marketers are at their positions today – for a reason.
These people are charismatic. And there are just far too many smarter brains to pick. And most importantly of all, they are passionate about their jobs. It is that amazing. I could literally feel their passion oozing out of their skin, even through the few minutes talking to them during the networking breaks and luncheons.
I need to mix with these people more. Or rather, I need to meet with and hear from these people more.
It reminds me why I chose to do marketing in the first place.
This conference came at a good time for me. At a time when I am starting to question what and why I am doing what I am doing. At a time when I feel that I cannot draw any more inspiration and motivation from my job, and even the people around me.
At a time when I tell a few people that I want to go upgrade myself with a MBA or some skills certification, and all I get are either some disapproving or discouraging remarks. Don’t they understand that I need some brain stimulation, and talking to and hanging out with them don’t satisfy me at all in that area?
Then again, now as I am penning this, I wonder why I even bother to ask people for their opinions. If I feel something would benefit me, I should just go ahead, isn’t it?
At a time when I wonder why some friends are so free that they can call/text me at all possible opportunity to gush off their thoughts about this new guy they just met and knew and wonder if there is a possibility between them.
Get a life!
If you think there is a possibility, just go ahead. Cos I wouldn’t know. I’m not him. I’m not you. And to be really blunt, I’m not interested – especially when I am at work or when I am having lunch or when I am going to bed. Because anyway, the next time these people contact me again, it’s going to be a different guy anyway!
Anyway, I digress.
The conference also reminded me of something my mum used to say to me when I was only in Primary school. “Compare yourself only with those who are better and stronger than you, for you will only strive for improvement then. But compare yourself with those who are on par with you, or worse, weaker than you, you will only turn complacent or worse, feel self accomplished for the wrong reasons – which will only lead to your own degradation. The path is yours to choose.”
So now, I think about the people, friends and associates who are supposedly in the marketing line that I know. Better, on par or weaker? Hmm… Maybe it’s high time to “change” some “friends”.
I looked through the list of delegates and I realised I was the only small fry there. All the designations were big. Chief Marketing Officers la; Regional Marketing Directors la; Head of Global Marketing la, etc from companies like Facebook, M1, Nokia, Ogilvy, SingTel, Standard Chartered Bank, etc. I almost didn’t want to exchange name cards. But that’s beside the point…
You also then realise that these top-notch marketers are at their positions today – for a reason.
These people are charismatic. And there are just far too many smarter brains to pick. And most importantly of all, they are passionate about their jobs. It is that amazing. I could literally feel their passion oozing out of their skin, even through the few minutes talking to them during the networking breaks and luncheons.
I need to mix with these people more. Or rather, I need to meet with and hear from these people more.
It reminds me why I chose to do marketing in the first place.
This conference came at a good time for me. At a time when I am starting to question what and why I am doing what I am doing. At a time when I feel that I cannot draw any more inspiration and motivation from my job, and even the people around me.
At a time when I tell a few people that I want to go upgrade myself with a MBA or some skills certification, and all I get are either some disapproving or discouraging remarks. Don’t they understand that I need some brain stimulation, and talking to and hanging out with them don’t satisfy me at all in that area?
Then again, now as I am penning this, I wonder why I even bother to ask people for their opinions. If I feel something would benefit me, I should just go ahead, isn’t it?
At a time when I wonder why some friends are so free that they can call/text me at all possible opportunity to gush off their thoughts about this new guy they just met and knew and wonder if there is a possibility between them.
Get a life!
If you think there is a possibility, just go ahead. Cos I wouldn’t know. I’m not him. I’m not you. And to be really blunt, I’m not interested – especially when I am at work or when I am having lunch or when I am going to bed. Because anyway, the next time these people contact me again, it’s going to be a different guy anyway!
Anyway, I digress.
The conference also reminded me of something my mum used to say to me when I was only in Primary school. “Compare yourself only with those who are better and stronger than you, for you will only strive for improvement then. But compare yourself with those who are on par with you, or worse, weaker than you, you will only turn complacent or worse, feel self accomplished for the wrong reasons – which will only lead to your own degradation. The path is yours to choose.”
So now, I think about the people, friends and associates who are supposedly in the marketing line that I know. Better, on par or weaker? Hmm… Maybe it’s high time to “change” some “friends”.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
我病了。
生病 真的会让人 心里上也变得脆弱
会让人想了很多
但是否会想地更透彻 或继续钻牛角尖
就不得而知
人很奇怪
和你越熟 越亲近的人
我们就越当他的存在 是理所当然
就越任性地以为 他应该是你肚子里的虫
就越容易对他发脾气
和你越熟 越亲近的人
我们的容忍度 不是更应该更广吗？
不是更应该轻声细语吗？
是时候 检讨自己的任性和脾气了。
会让人想了很多
但是否会想地更透彻 或继续钻牛角尖
就不得而知
人很奇怪
和你越熟 越亲近的人
我们就越当他的存在 是理所当然
就越任性地以为 他应该是你肚子里的虫
就越容易对他发脾气
和你越熟 越亲近的人
我们的容忍度 不是更应该更广吗？
不是更应该轻声细语吗？
是时候 检讨自己的任性和脾气了。
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
时间
原来 有些事情 给再多时间
也没用
原来 有些事情 时间给多了
会变得 好像 不再那么重要
原来 时间久了 会让人忘记
当初的执著
为什么？
原来 时间
可以是你最好的朋友
也可以是你最可怕的敌人
也没用
原来 有些事情 时间给多了
会变得 好像 不再那么重要
原来 时间久了 会让人忘记
当初的执著
为什么？
原来 时间
可以是你最好的朋友
也可以是你最可怕的敌人
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
平衡点
有时 你会不会
觉得肩膀很重？
我们每个人 在某个程度上
是不是 都活在别人 对我们的期望中？
父母；伴侣；老板；朋友
还有 你自己
对你的期望
我们背的 除了这些
有的没的 合理或无里头 的期望
还有 我们自己的理想抱负
这样 该怎么取得平衡点？
觉得肩膀很重？
我们每个人 在某个程度上
是不是 都活在别人 对我们的期望中？
父母；伴侣；老板；朋友
还有 你自己
对你的期望
我们背的 除了这些
有的没的 合理或无里头 的期望
还有 我们自己的理想抱负
这样 该怎么取得平衡点？
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
纠结
当两个人在一起
但大半时间 都各忙各的
那 还算不算在一起？
当两个人在一起
虽说知道对方
在哪儿，和谁在一起，在做什么
但期间 ，真的是这样吗？
当两个人在一起
一方开始有疑惑
那 还该不该继续？
也许，
我们都比较爱自己 也已经习惯自由。
那 该怎么取舍？
###
有些女人 也许
喜欢自欺欺人
她的男人 若对不起她
做他的女人 不可能没察觉到
一些蛛丝马迹
有些事 不是她不懂
也许 是她装傻，不想拆穿
所以 外人就不要帮倒忙
不要说穿
不要让她
没有选择 没有任何挽留
这份情的借口
但大半时间 都各忙各的
那 还算不算在一起？
当两个人在一起
虽说知道对方
在哪儿，和谁在一起，在做什么
但期间 ，真的是这样吗？
当两个人在一起
一方开始有疑惑
那 还该不该继续？
也许，
我们都比较爱自己 也已经习惯自由。
那 该怎么取舍？
###
有些女人 也许
喜欢自欺欺人
她的男人 若对不起她
做他的女人 不可能没察觉到
一些蛛丝马迹
有些事 不是她不懂
也许 是她装傻，不想拆穿
所以 外人就不要帮倒忙
不要说穿
不要让她
没有选择 没有任何挽留
这份情的借口
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Starstruck
1. Stopped in front of me. Eye contact. A smile. A squeezed handshake. **meltz**
2. Walked past. A tap-and-go palm contact.
I think I got back my ticket price worth...
What's upsetting was I could not whip out the DSLR to take photos.
And the Canon point-and-shoot camera only knows how to capture super blurry images. How idiotic. Upset. He was just right in front of me, shorter than an arm's length! Time to change my camera. Bleah.
***
Silly and seemingly never grow up & out of this. Yes, I know. But allow me to indulge.
Cab uncle said he ferried another 3 ladies before me, and they also attended the concert.
“他很帅麽？ 她们说去看林峰， 我还以为是高凌风！”
“ Uncle!!! 一个天，一个地啦！ 怎么比？我的帅多咯！”
“哎哟！ 那三个有ah ma , 有auntie , 有小女生嘛！现在有多你一个! 统杀! 所以, 如果给你作他一天的 girlfriend, 陪他一晚 ，你会要吗？”
“Uncle, 马上扑上去！”
“花花公子，情场杀手，你也要?”
“要! ”
"你们这些女生。。。 "
“Uncle, 她现在在发花痴。 你现在如果跟她说你知道林峰在哪里吃夜宵，她会马上包下你的车一整晚去追他！不要理她！”
Ahhh...
Friday, February 25, 2011
Give it up.
I’m probably going to be stoned to death by posting this article. OK, I exaggerated. But I’m sure someone out there would look at me, shake their head and go “tsk tsk tsk” after reading this, or go “Wait till you become one. Then you will know.”
Yes, maybe.
I’m talking about the gracious act of giving up your precious seat on the train to preggie women.
I’ve heard many of my girl friends who are pregnant complain that they took the train or bus and no one gave up their precious seats to them.
Some pretended to be asleep, texting on the phone, reading; basically just being kept so busy that they failed to see a woman with a large tummy standing in front of them, and calling out to them with hopeful eyes to let them sit and rest.
And then my girl friends started to complain about how rude these people are. How ungracious these people are, and that they were amazed by everyone on the seats who were oblivious to their surroundings (aka her).
But honestly, why should they?
You know you are pregnant. You know you are going to hate it standing all the way to reach your destination. You know you might most probably suffer from severe back ache or swollen legs from standing too long on the train.
I’m sure you know all these, as your tummy grows larger and heavier each day. And I’m sure you know the train is going to be crowded with no seats for you 99 per cent of the time.
And so, why do you still choose to take the train?
If you had honestly needed a seat so badly, you would have taken a cab.
You assume that because you are pregnant, you belong to the privileged group of people. You thought that people will see your tummy and understand the ache and swell you are suffering.
But honestly, do we care?
No, don’t get me wrong. I’m on the side of preggie women. I’m all for giving up seats to preggie women, especially those with a tummy double their own physique (women are amazing creatures, aren’t they?). And I would teach the younger generation to always give up seats to those who need it more than themselves.
But what I’m trying to say here is a preggie woman should also – always – show her appreciation when some kind soul gives up his or her seat to you.
Simply because it is not a must. Nor even their obligation to take care of you by giving up their seat on the bus/train to you.
Rather, it is a gracious and kind act. They choose to. Just like you choose to take the train.
I’ve personally given up seats to some preggie strangers, who took my seat without a word of thanks and acted as if I should have done that long ago. And then they proceeded to pretend to doze off almost immediately, without any point of eye contact or acknowledgement.
At that point in time, I almost felt like tapping her on the shoulder and asked her to get up and sit on the floor instead.
And also, what makes you think that you need the seat more than the chap who is dozing off at the side seat or the lady whose head is always down and keeps herself busy with her phone?
Maybe he had a really late night and honestly needed that snooze? Maybe she is suffering from a huge ready-to-explode blister from her new heels and she also could not really stand all the way?
And ask yourself, did you really always give up your seats to preggie women, back when you were not yet trotting around with a large tummy?
What’s more, the seat is public property anyway. Just because you have a larger and firmer (kicking) tummy than him or her does not really give you the exclusive right to that seat.
Nonetheless, giving up seats to the needy is always a gracious act. And even if that someone whom you gave up the seat to is not appreciative, your kind act will somehow, some way, transpire and add onto your own good karma.
So yes, the next time you see a preggie woman, please do give up your seat. =)
Yes, maybe.
I’m talking about the gracious act of giving up your precious seat on the train to preggie women.
I’ve heard many of my girl friends who are pregnant complain that they took the train or bus and no one gave up their precious seats to them.
Some pretended to be asleep, texting on the phone, reading; basically just being kept so busy that they failed to see a woman with a large tummy standing in front of them, and calling out to them with hopeful eyes to let them sit and rest.
And then my girl friends started to complain about how rude these people are. How ungracious these people are, and that they were amazed by everyone on the seats who were oblivious to their surroundings (aka her).
But honestly, why should they?
You know you are pregnant. You know you are going to hate it standing all the way to reach your destination. You know you might most probably suffer from severe back ache or swollen legs from standing too long on the train.
I’m sure you know all these, as your tummy grows larger and heavier each day. And I’m sure you know the train is going to be crowded with no seats for you 99 per cent of the time.
And so, why do you still choose to take the train?
If you had honestly needed a seat so badly, you would have taken a cab.
You assume that because you are pregnant, you belong to the privileged group of people. You thought that people will see your tummy and understand the ache and swell you are suffering.
But honestly, do we care?
No, don’t get me wrong. I’m on the side of preggie women. I’m all for giving up seats to preggie women, especially those with a tummy double their own physique (women are amazing creatures, aren’t they?). And I would teach the younger generation to always give up seats to those who need it more than themselves.
But what I’m trying to say here is a preggie woman should also – always – show her appreciation when some kind soul gives up his or her seat to you.
Simply because it is not a must. Nor even their obligation to take care of you by giving up their seat on the bus/train to you.
Rather, it is a gracious and kind act. They choose to. Just like you choose to take the train.
I’ve personally given up seats to some preggie strangers, who took my seat without a word of thanks and acted as if I should have done that long ago. And then they proceeded to pretend to doze off almost immediately, without any point of eye contact or acknowledgement.
At that point in time, I almost felt like tapping her on the shoulder and asked her to get up and sit on the floor instead.
And also, what makes you think that you need the seat more than the chap who is dozing off at the side seat or the lady whose head is always down and keeps herself busy with her phone?
Maybe he had a really late night and honestly needed that snooze? Maybe she is suffering from a huge ready-to-explode blister from her new heels and she also could not really stand all the way?
And ask yourself, did you really always give up your seats to preggie women, back when you were not yet trotting around with a large tummy?
What’s more, the seat is public property anyway. Just because you have a larger and firmer (kicking) tummy than him or her does not really give you the exclusive right to that seat.
Nonetheless, giving up seats to the needy is always a gracious act. And even if that someone whom you gave up the seat to is not appreciative, your kind act will somehow, some way, transpire and add onto your own good karma.
So yes, the next time you see a preggie woman, please do give up your seat. =)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The moment
When I want to share and talk, you are busy.
When you express concern and are ready to listen, I don't feel like sharing and talking about it anymore.
At times when I try to share and talk about it, even when I don't feel like it...
Alas!
The initial intense emotion about whatever that was bothering me is not so strong anymore.
And so, when I can no longer paint the full picture, you wonder why I was so upset over or affected by it in the first place.
At times, when I listen to myself, I also wonder the same thing.
Then I begin to suspect that you think I am just kicking a big fuss over nothing, or just being petty.
Sometimes, I ponder.
Is it a major flaw of mine that I tend to forget -- after a few hours -- what got myself so angry or upset in the first place?
When you express concern and are ready to listen, I don't feel like sharing and talking about it anymore.
At times when I try to share and talk about it, even when I don't feel like it...
Alas!
The initial intense emotion about whatever that was bothering me is not so strong anymore.
And so, when I can no longer paint the full picture, you wonder why I was so upset over or affected by it in the first place.
At times, when I listen to myself, I also wonder the same thing.
Then I begin to suspect that you think I am just kicking a big fuss over nothing, or just being petty.
Sometimes, I ponder.
Is it a major flaw of mine that I tend to forget -- after a few hours -- what got myself so angry or upset in the first place?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
农历新年来咯！！
Huat ya! Wheee!
This song really lifts your spirits and gets you in the mood for the Rabbit year!
Yes, it makes me cringe at the same time...
But... I still love it anyhow! It's the CHINESE New Year anyway! So let's get chee-na!
Happy!
I'm going to dislike February.
Friday
"I just claimed my air ticket. I'm going to Thailand next month, after CNY hor... for about 5 days."
Saturday
"I'm going to KL end February. For a weekend."
"You want any Coach or Kate Spade or anything? I'm gg to the US on 14 February."
Why is everyone telling me they are going away in February? And leave me alone here... Boo hoo!
Oh, and my colleagues are also going to Bangkok end February as well!
Latest update: Two more friends are going to Bangkok! All the same week! =(
"I just claimed my air ticket. I'm going to Thailand next month, after CNY hor... for about 5 days."
Saturday
"I'm going to KL end February. For a weekend."
"You want any Coach or Kate Spade or anything? I'm gg to the US on 14 February."
Why is everyone telling me they are going away in February? And leave me alone here... Boo hoo!
Oh, and my colleagues are also going to Bangkok end February as well!
Latest update: Two more friends are going to Bangkok! All the same week! =(
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
A week of mixed emotions running high…
Been feeling rather emo since the start of the year. Things were made worse when I fell sick and work had not been exactly smooth for the 1st two weeks of 2011.
I did my fair share of complaints, crying and sulking. And fortunately, work has taken a change for the better. And I know it will only get better.
Or maybe, I am trying to find back my own aggressiveness and my own fighting spirit, as I’ve mentioned earlier. The more people think I am not able to do some things, the more I would do to prove them wrong. I survive and can respond pretty well to such pressure. Test me.
Can never – ever – forget the exclamations and shocked expressions on the faces of my relatives and neighoubours when I received my PSLE, O Levels and A Levels results.
My relatives were happy for me. But I would never forget in my life when my ex-neighbour arrogantly told my mum in my presence that she should be more than happy if I even, ever, managed to get a 220 for my PSLE. I scored so much better than her kid and went to River Valley. Hers? Blah – Fairfield Methodist.
Apparently, she never learnt her lesson and she once again told my mum that, my mum should be more than satisfied if I could enter a polytechnic. My entry to a SAP school was just a beautiful mistake.
In the end, I went to Hwa Chong Junior College. Hers? Blah – National Junior College.
I hate such arrogant people, or should I say arrogant empty vessels. They just like to put people down to make themselves feel better. But for what? I can never understand and I am not interested to find out. But maybe I should have her to thank. Hah.
I told my mum that for people to be arrogant, they better blardy hell have the capabilities to be so. Which I still believe so.
Anyway, I digress.
What I had wanted to blog about was…
Happiness – I can’t stop smiling to myself!
My favourite student scored an A2 for her Math in O Levels! Alright. It’s not an A1. But based on her standards and capabilities, an A2 is already more than a good pressie for me! I was honestly expecting a B3 for her. And she always jokes that she is going to spoil my track record of As.
Math has never been her strong subject and there was even a period when she really hated the subject cos she either kept failing or just made it across the borderline.
But she believed in me. Believed that I wanted the best for her. She has been my student since she was Primary 4. Should have stopped teaching her in Sec 2 but she called me one day and asked me to tutor her for Sec 3 & 4.
“It’s OK if you have stopped teaching Sec 3 & 4 for more than 5 years. I trust you.”
Her last three words stuck in my mind until now. I melted then.
She called me right after her call to her mum and she was shrieking on the other side of the phone. Ecstatic.
I am too. I’m happy she did it.
And I honestly could not stop smiling to myself for the whole day after her call.
I’ll miss her.
Pensive.
Nan SMS-ed me one day and kinda demanded that she needed to meet me cos she had gotten into a second round of interview and she had no idea what to expect. She needed my advice.
I thought that was kinda weird. I’m not a headhunter or a trained HR personnel or have a HR background. Human Resources was only my general elective module in Uni…
But I soon realised why she needed to talk to me. Because apart from her interview for her scholarship, which was dunno how many donkey years ago, she has never been to a proper interview before. She even asked me what to wear for the interview.
But what made me in awe was what she shared with me…
She shared that she still has the vision to want to make an impact in other people’s life. That her dream is get into MOH and be a decision maker and policy maker, so that she can change and implement some new policies that would benefit more patients. And she can’t do that now because if she applies to MOH now, she can only be a ka-gia and not someone of influential decision power.
I think I stared at her with disbelief in my eyes for a good few minutes.
Doesn’t she sound like a fresh graduate? A gung-ho fresh graduate with lotsa of ideals and belief and enthusiasm to want to “save the world” and make the world a better place?
Ahh… Don’t we all used to be like that once?
What happen?
Somehow, along the way, we became so jaded and got caught up in the current situation to forget what your ideals once were….
And she asked me. What happen to my plan? The plan that I would quit the corporate world at 30 to go pursue my passion – teaching. I’m overdue, she reminded me.
Had lunch with another friend recently and the conversation turned to our pursuits in life.
He suggested me to open a tuition centre when I told him about my overdue teaching dream, and yet, I do not want to give up on my marketing job.
And he actually generously offered to cough up a sum of money. Woah.
But of course, there are much more issues, planning and groundwork to be done before anything can be concrete. And this friend only offered to cough up the money. He’ll leave the rest to me, he says.
He called me two days later to ask me if I had given it a serious thought. Open a brand new centre or buy over an existing one? And if you want to buy over an existing one, please make sure it has potential. His bla-bla-bla was when I knew he was genuinely serious.
Hmmm… Let me mull over it some more.
Blissful
Attended CW's & Jen’s wedding at Sentosa Cove Glass House. It was an intimate affair with only 9 tables.
Don’t know why but when I saw her this time round, I felt happy for her. I mean, sincerely happy for the two of them. Happy that she found her man, and her man found her. Hopefully, this time round, it’s the right man.
The 2 of them were already a couple in Uni but broke up because the guy wanted to settle down but not the girl.
Both subsequently got married to other people, divorced and then as fate would have it, they got in touch again and then fell in love again.
真的是兜了一个大圆圈！But it’s all sweetness after the bitterness.
And I teared during their solemnization when they took their vows. Touched.
There was a mixture of tears and laughter when CW gave his speech. It was a damn long speech but touching. Especially for those who knew the 2 of them since Uni days.
I’ve been to so many weddings and helped coordinate so many weddings but I think this was one of the best. It din feel like a wedding at all. Instead, it was an intimate cosy affair where everyone just mingle, laugh and talk.
Even when I am not really close to CW & Jen’s other friends whom I knew as well (from the same secondary school), or knew anyone at all at the wedding, for that matter, I felt at ease and comfortable. There was this guy at my table who introduced himself the moment I sat down from my emcee-ing job.
“You were from NTU, aren’t you? You look very familiar.”
Turned out he was from NTU Accountancy and he knew CW and the rest of my secondary school classmates who were at the table as well.
He was reminiscing the good old days and told the few of us, “It’s amazing how some of us are now daddies and mummies. And especially how we all look different now, yet very much the same. Doesn’t this remind you of the good old days when we were all in school?”
A sign of age, isn’t it? When you realise you keep saying, “Those were the days.”
I like what CW & Jen put in their weddig invite.
“Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with him more than any other person. Love is trusting him enough to tell him everything about yourself. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with him but still getting weak in the knees when he walks into a room and smiles at you.”
How true…
Sad such that my tears can’t stop flowing.
OK. I have to admit. I’m not emotionally strong. I over-estimated myself.
Received a call from a good friend this morning. She told me to take a deep breath and stay calm to whatever she was going to tell me thereafter.
How weird I thought.
But what she said hit me hard.
“I have cancer.”
“Huh? What was it that you just said?”
“You did not hear wrongly. I have cancer. Lymphoma cancer.”
Silence. My tears started to well up and the next thing I knew – I couldn’t even talk.
“Silly girl. Cry for what? Nothing to cry about. Doc says it’s curable.”
I’m never good with such things. I honestly do not know what to say.
And in the end, she was the one trying to console me and telling me it is going to be alright.
“I thought I should call to let you know. Lest you hear from dunno what sources and start to get funny ideas or thought it is very serious. Or you suddenly didn't hear from me for some time later. Cos knowing you, you seldom take the initiative to contact other people anyway.”
She has just given birth – much to both her hubby’s and her delight. After having tried for some time for a baby.
They had almost wanted to give up trying and started planning for themselves and their own duo future when she found herself pregnant. Both were ecstatic. We all knew how much her hubby wanted a kid.
But it seems that this pregnancy or this kid is… I don’t know...
老人家不是说过，有些孩子生来带给父母的是福 ，有些却是祸。
She first had chicken pox during her pregnancy, then followed by post-natal depression, all the problems that come along with breast feeding, and down with flu, muscle aches, etc.
And then now… 一波未平 ，一波又起。
我真的很心疼她。
But of course, mothers being mothers, she shared that it is a blessing in disguise that it is her and not her son. I mean, yes, it’s true. But I would rather it NOT be anybody.
She asked me to meet up soon, before she starts her chemo which is scheduled after CNY, and by then, she has to cut down contact in case of viral infection from outside.
I didn’t tell her but I’m scared to meet her. I don’t want to start crying or tearing the moment I see her. Because I shouldn’t be. But I’m scared I can’t help it. I am in fact crying so uncontrollably now as I type.
Yet, I know I would want to be there for her. I would meet her. I just need to toughen up myself.
And knowing her loud and tough character, and for the sake of her hubby and baby, her family and all whom she loves and love her, she should able to pull through this difficult phase in her life. 加油！
I did my fair share of complaints, crying and sulking. And fortunately, work has taken a change for the better. And I know it will only get better.
Or maybe, I am trying to find back my own aggressiveness and my own fighting spirit, as I’ve mentioned earlier. The more people think I am not able to do some things, the more I would do to prove them wrong. I survive and can respond pretty well to such pressure. Test me.
Can never – ever – forget the exclamations and shocked expressions on the faces of my relatives and neighoubours when I received my PSLE, O Levels and A Levels results.
My relatives were happy for me. But I would never forget in my life when my ex-neighbour arrogantly told my mum in my presence that she should be more than happy if I even, ever, managed to get a 220 for my PSLE. I scored so much better than her kid and went to River Valley. Hers? Blah – Fairfield Methodist.
Apparently, she never learnt her lesson and she once again told my mum that, my mum should be more than satisfied if I could enter a polytechnic. My entry to a SAP school was just a beautiful mistake.
In the end, I went to Hwa Chong Junior College. Hers? Blah – National Junior College.
I hate such arrogant people, or should I say arrogant empty vessels. They just like to put people down to make themselves feel better. But for what? I can never understand and I am not interested to find out. But maybe I should have her to thank. Hah.
I told my mum that for people to be arrogant, they better blardy hell have the capabilities to be so. Which I still believe so.
Anyway, I digress.
What I had wanted to blog about was…
Happiness – I can’t stop smiling to myself!
My favourite student scored an A2 for her Math in O Levels! Alright. It’s not an A1. But based on her standards and capabilities, an A2 is already more than a good pressie for me! I was honestly expecting a B3 for her. And she always jokes that she is going to spoil my track record of As.
Math has never been her strong subject and there was even a period when she really hated the subject cos she either kept failing or just made it across the borderline.
But she believed in me. Believed that I wanted the best for her. She has been my student since she was Primary 4. Should have stopped teaching her in Sec 2 but she called me one day and asked me to tutor her for Sec 3 & 4.
“It’s OK if you have stopped teaching Sec 3 & 4 for more than 5 years. I trust you.”
Her last three words stuck in my mind until now. I melted then.
She called me right after her call to her mum and she was shrieking on the other side of the phone. Ecstatic.
I am too. I’m happy she did it.
And I honestly could not stop smiling to myself for the whole day after her call.
I’ll miss her.
Pensive.
Nan SMS-ed me one day and kinda demanded that she needed to meet me cos she had gotten into a second round of interview and she had no idea what to expect. She needed my advice.
I thought that was kinda weird. I’m not a headhunter or a trained HR personnel or have a HR background. Human Resources was only my general elective module in Uni…
But I soon realised why she needed to talk to me. Because apart from her interview for her scholarship, which was dunno how many donkey years ago, she has never been to a proper interview before. She even asked me what to wear for the interview.
But what made me in awe was what she shared with me…
She shared that she still has the vision to want to make an impact in other people’s life. That her dream is get into MOH and be a decision maker and policy maker, so that she can change and implement some new policies that would benefit more patients. And she can’t do that now because if she applies to MOH now, she can only be a ka-gia and not someone of influential decision power.
I think I stared at her with disbelief in my eyes for a good few minutes.
Doesn’t she sound like a fresh graduate? A gung-ho fresh graduate with lotsa of ideals and belief and enthusiasm to want to “save the world” and make the world a better place?
Ahh… Don’t we all used to be like that once?
What happen?
Somehow, along the way, we became so jaded and got caught up in the current situation to forget what your ideals once were….
And she asked me. What happen to my plan? The plan that I would quit the corporate world at 30 to go pursue my passion – teaching. I’m overdue, she reminded me.
Had lunch with another friend recently and the conversation turned to our pursuits in life.
He suggested me to open a tuition centre when I told him about my overdue teaching dream, and yet, I do not want to give up on my marketing job.
And he actually generously offered to cough up a sum of money. Woah.
But of course, there are much more issues, planning and groundwork to be done before anything can be concrete. And this friend only offered to cough up the money. He’ll leave the rest to me, he says.
He called me two days later to ask me if I had given it a serious thought. Open a brand new centre or buy over an existing one? And if you want to buy over an existing one, please make sure it has potential. His bla-bla-bla was when I knew he was genuinely serious.
Hmmm… Let me mull over it some more.
Blissful
Attended CW's & Jen’s wedding at Sentosa Cove Glass House. It was an intimate affair with only 9 tables.
Don’t know why but when I saw her this time round, I felt happy for her. I mean, sincerely happy for the two of them. Happy that she found her man, and her man found her. Hopefully, this time round, it’s the right man.
The 2 of them were already a couple in Uni but broke up because the guy wanted to settle down but not the girl.
Both subsequently got married to other people, divorced and then as fate would have it, they got in touch again and then fell in love again.
真的是兜了一个大圆圈！But it’s all sweetness after the bitterness.
And I teared during their solemnization when they took their vows. Touched.
There was a mixture of tears and laughter when CW gave his speech. It was a damn long speech but touching. Especially for those who knew the 2 of them since Uni days.
I’ve been to so many weddings and helped coordinate so many weddings but I think this was one of the best. It din feel like a wedding at all. Instead, it was an intimate cosy affair where everyone just mingle, laugh and talk.
Even when I am not really close to CW & Jen’s other friends whom I knew as well (from the same secondary school), or knew anyone at all at the wedding, for that matter, I felt at ease and comfortable. There was this guy at my table who introduced himself the moment I sat down from my emcee-ing job.
“You were from NTU, aren’t you? You look very familiar.”
Turned out he was from NTU Accountancy and he knew CW and the rest of my secondary school classmates who were at the table as well.
He was reminiscing the good old days and told the few of us, “It’s amazing how some of us are now daddies and mummies. And especially how we all look different now, yet very much the same. Doesn’t this remind you of the good old days when we were all in school?”
A sign of age, isn’t it? When you realise you keep saying, “Those were the days.”
I like what CW & Jen put in their weddig invite.
“Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with him more than any other person. Love is trusting him enough to tell him everything about yourself. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with him but still getting weak in the knees when he walks into a room and smiles at you.”
How true…
Sad such that my tears can’t stop flowing.
OK. I have to admit. I’m not emotionally strong. I over-estimated myself.
Received a call from a good friend this morning. She told me to take a deep breath and stay calm to whatever she was going to tell me thereafter.
How weird I thought.
But what she said hit me hard.
“I have cancer.”
“Huh? What was it that you just said?”
“You did not hear wrongly. I have cancer. Lymphoma cancer.”
Silence. My tears started to well up and the next thing I knew – I couldn’t even talk.
“Silly girl. Cry for what? Nothing to cry about. Doc says it’s curable.”
I’m never good with such things. I honestly do not know what to say.
And in the end, she was the one trying to console me and telling me it is going to be alright.
“I thought I should call to let you know. Lest you hear from dunno what sources and start to get funny ideas or thought it is very serious. Or you suddenly didn't hear from me for some time later. Cos knowing you, you seldom take the initiative to contact other people anyway.”
She has just given birth – much to both her hubby’s and her delight. After having tried for some time for a baby.
They had almost wanted to give up trying and started planning for themselves and their own duo future when she found herself pregnant. Both were ecstatic. We all knew how much her hubby wanted a kid.
But it seems that this pregnancy or this kid is… I don’t know...
老人家不是说过，有些孩子生来带给父母的是福 ，有些却是祸。
She first had chicken pox during her pregnancy, then followed by post-natal depression, all the problems that come along with breast feeding, and down with flu, muscle aches, etc.
And then now… 一波未平 ，一波又起。
我真的很心疼她。
But of course, mothers being mothers, she shared that it is a blessing in disguise that it is her and not her son. I mean, yes, it’s true. But I would rather it NOT be anybody.
She asked me to meet up soon, before she starts her chemo which is scheduled after CNY, and by then, she has to cut down contact in case of viral infection from outside.
I didn’t tell her but I’m scared to meet her. I don’t want to start crying or tearing the moment I see her. Because I shouldn’t be. But I’m scared I can’t help it. I am in fact crying so uncontrollably now as I type.
Yet, I know I would want to be there for her. I would meet her. I just need to toughen up myself.
And knowing her loud and tough character, and for the sake of her hubby and baby, her family and all whom she loves and love her, she should able to pull through this difficult phase in her life. 加油！
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Blabbers
Bloss made me repeat to myself. 对事不对人, 对事不对人, 对事不对人.
And breathe, breathe and breathe.
What the hell. I can't breathe at all. Literally. With all my blocked respiratory system.
Jen told me I'm not the only one dreading going to work. So it's OK - to have such feelings once in a while.
Bloss told me she thinks she lost her passion in her line of work.
So, OK. I have two people telling me similar things.
But. But that should not be the case.
I'm tired.
Not sure if it is due to medicine, or my illness, or that I feel very out of the world and floating around - I nearly threw my water bottle into the bin, instead of my rubbish in the other hand this morning.
And I felt very faint after lunch, having walked under the hot sun. Must be the flu bug.
And I'm still not getting any better after taking the drugs. I wonder why the medication prescribed by the company doctors always don't work, and yet they earn tonnes of money. Idiot.
I tried to stay positive but it is so difficult. Or rather, she makes it so difficult ~ and worse still, effortlessly.
#1
Told me to arrange with a client that the big boss would be available to speak at their event on a certain date.
Must remember to copy her on everything, right?
So I did. And so, I thought, as how it has always been, it would be her telling the big boss the details, and me liaising with the external party. Hierarchy mah. Understood.
Who noes? She came to me and asked if I have booked big boss' time for that event. And gave me the most incredulously unbelievable look on her face why it never occurred to me to do it.
I think I stared at her for a second then decided that there's no use to try to explain and so, I just answered her - OK, I'll do it.
After speaking to the big boss' PA, I realised to my horror that the dates clashed with our regional internal event (which she is going as well, but I was not informed of the details, since I am not involved.)
So, I went to her and told her about the clash of dates. And returned her the incredulously unbelievable look on my face why it never occurred to her that the dates clashed, since she is going as well.
Of course, I failed.
She just told me in a relaxed tone after confirming it with her organizer, "Oh ya hor. Dates clashed. Then can you decline it?"
What the... I told you the date. You were the one who checked with big boss, and gave me the heads up to confirm with the client. You even repeated the date when you had that incredulous look on your face. And it didn't occur to you then that the dates clashed at all, until the PA brought it up?
And now, I have to write a diplomatic apology email and look silly, to have confirmed our participation and decline a day after.
I think it's only fair that if you expect no slip up from me, I expect no slip up from you.
#2
I had to sit down with her to propose the contents of the quarterly newsletter. True enough - as I had expected, the first thing she asked me was what is the new section for this year I propose?
I'm prepared but I just don't like her tone of asking.
Anyway, everything seems fine until the end when she asked me the tasks at hand now.
Told her. And then, some how, I can't remember how now, the conversation turned to time management.
And then, she went on to say she wanted to pass on some coordination job to me, but not sure if I have the time to do it.
This is a trap.
I hate it when bosses tell you about things and then end it off with a tinge of concern - be it out of hypocrisy or out of honest concern or just for show.
I mean, you are the boss. You ask me to do things, could I say no? All I could tell you is the opportunity cost - that the time I plan to do ABC will now be used to do the things you ask me to. So ABC gets pushed back. Or, I go home later and complete it for you - that's an opportunity cost too.
But somehow, when ABC gets pushed back and you agree, some how, in the later stages, or after several months, the boomerang will come back and the question, "Why did ABC become a moving target? Or Why was ABC late?"
By then, OK - this, I blame it on my own forgetfulness. By then, a few months later, I would have forgotten why ABC was late in the first place.
The irony today was - she asked me to take the afternoon off and go home to rest. Right after she asked me if I have the time to do XYZ and hinted that she hoped to complete it asap within this month.
Something is just wrong between us, somewhere, some way, somehow. There is already a slight tension.
Maybe I should also do some self reflection. Maybe I have not been a very good employee or subordinate as well.
Maybe...
OK. This is going to be the last entry complaining about work. I hope. So inauspicious to start the year's entries with all complaints about work.
Need to do some self reflection. Change the way I work. Step out of my comfort zone.
Colleagues are colleagues, not friends. I go to work to make money, not friends, not enemies. And definitely not to make my own life so miserable.
And breathe, breathe and breathe.
What the hell. I can't breathe at all. Literally. With all my blocked respiratory system.
Jen told me I'm not the only one dreading going to work. So it's OK - to have such feelings once in a while.
Bloss told me she thinks she lost her passion in her line of work.
So, OK. I have two people telling me similar things.
But. But that should not be the case.
I'm tired.
Not sure if it is due to medicine, or my illness, or that I feel very out of the world and floating around - I nearly threw my water bottle into the bin, instead of my rubbish in the other hand this morning.
And I felt very faint after lunch, having walked under the hot sun. Must be the flu bug.
And I'm still not getting any better after taking the drugs. I wonder why the medication prescribed by the company doctors always don't work, and yet they earn tonnes of money. Idiot.
I tried to stay positive but it is so difficult. Or rather, she makes it so difficult ~ and worse still, effortlessly.
#1
Told me to arrange with a client that the big boss would be available to speak at their event on a certain date.
Must remember to copy her on everything, right?
So I did. And so, I thought, as how it has always been, it would be her telling the big boss the details, and me liaising with the external party. Hierarchy mah. Understood.
Who noes? She came to me and asked if I have booked big boss' time for that event. And gave me the most incredulously unbelievable look on her face why it never occurred to me to do it.
I think I stared at her for a second then decided that there's no use to try to explain and so, I just answered her - OK, I'll do it.
After speaking to the big boss' PA, I realised to my horror that the dates clashed with our regional internal event (which she is going as well, but I was not informed of the details, since I am not involved.)
So, I went to her and told her about the clash of dates. And returned her the incredulously unbelievable look on my face why it never occurred to her that the dates clashed, since she is going as well.
Of course, I failed.
She just told me in a relaxed tone after confirming it with her organizer, "Oh ya hor. Dates clashed. Then can you decline it?"
What the... I told you the date. You were the one who checked with big boss, and gave me the heads up to confirm with the client. You even repeated the date when you had that incredulous look on your face. And it didn't occur to you then that the dates clashed at all, until the PA brought it up?
And now, I have to write a diplomatic apology email and look silly, to have confirmed our participation and decline a day after.
I think it's only fair that if you expect no slip up from me, I expect no slip up from you.
#2
I had to sit down with her to propose the contents of the quarterly newsletter. True enough - as I had expected, the first thing she asked me was what is the new section for this year I propose?
I'm prepared but I just don't like her tone of asking.
Anyway, everything seems fine until the end when she asked me the tasks at hand now.
Told her. And then, some how, I can't remember how now, the conversation turned to time management.
And then, she went on to say she wanted to pass on some coordination job to me, but not sure if I have the time to do it.
This is a trap.
I hate it when bosses tell you about things and then end it off with a tinge of concern - be it out of hypocrisy or out of honest concern or just for show.
I mean, you are the boss. You ask me to do things, could I say no? All I could tell you is the opportunity cost - that the time I plan to do ABC will now be used to do the things you ask me to. So ABC gets pushed back. Or, I go home later and complete it for you - that's an opportunity cost too.
But somehow, when ABC gets pushed back and you agree, some how, in the later stages, or after several months, the boomerang will come back and the question, "Why did ABC become a moving target? Or Why was ABC late?"
By then, OK - this, I blame it on my own forgetfulness. By then, a few months later, I would have forgotten why ABC was late in the first place.
The irony today was - she asked me to take the afternoon off and go home to rest. Right after she asked me if I have the time to do XYZ and hinted that she hoped to complete it asap within this month.
Something is just wrong between us, somewhere, some way, somehow. There is already a slight tension.
Maybe I should also do some self reflection. Maybe I have not been a very good employee or subordinate as well.
Maybe...
OK. This is going to be the last entry complaining about work. I hope. So inauspicious to start the year's entries with all complaints about work.
Need to do some self reflection. Change the way I work. Step out of my comfort zone.
Colleagues are colleagues, not friends. I go to work to make money, not friends, not enemies. And definitely not to make my own life so miserable.
Monday, January 03, 2011
The difference between being a boss and a subordinate...
Boss to subordinate:
First thing in the morning on the first work day of 2011, I was blasted for no reason...
With a very grim face, she went, "What is the status of CNA and BT query?"
"I just saw the email query from BT. I'll handle it."
"Huh? What do you mean you just saw it? It was sent last week!"
"Erm.. It was sent on Thursday after 7.30 pm. I left the office already and office was closed on Friday?"
Without acknowledging what I said and as if she was out to nail me down, she continued...
"Then what about CNA?"
"Erm, done? Set at 4pm today?"
As if she realised she does not have anything more to blast at, she went...
"Next time, please keep me in the loop of such correspondences. Otherwise, when I check my blackberry, I wouldn't know if you had or had not handled it. Oh, and BT one you will handle, right?"
"Right!"
Sigh... I don't even bother to want to look at her. I'll just make it a point to copy her in each and every email then - and flood her inbox. What the... ...
Subordinate to boss:
"Boss, have you seen the request by XXX regarding XXX?"
"No. Not yet."
"Boss, have you asked the other HODs during the management meeting regarding XXX?"
"No. Not yet."
Sigh... Imagine the consequences I will face if I also answer to her "No. Not yet.".... Die until no corpse...
First thing in the morning on the first work day of 2011, I was blasted for no reason...
With a very grim face, she went, "What is the status of CNA and BT query?"
"I just saw the email query from BT. I'll handle it."
"Huh? What do you mean you just saw it? It was sent last week!"
"Erm.. It was sent on Thursday after 7.30 pm. I left the office already and office was closed on Friday?"
Without acknowledging what I said and as if she was out to nail me down, she continued...
"Then what about CNA?"
"Erm, done? Set at 4pm today?"
As if she realised she does not have anything more to blast at, she went...
"Next time, please keep me in the loop of such correspondences. Otherwise, when I check my blackberry, I wouldn't know if you had or had not handled it. Oh, and BT one you will handle, right?"
"Right!"
Sigh... I don't even bother to want to look at her. I'll just make it a point to copy her in each and every email then - and flood her inbox. What the... ...
Subordinate to boss:
"Boss, have you seen the request by XXX regarding XXX?"
"No. Not yet."
"Boss, have you asked the other HODs during the management meeting regarding XXX?"
"No. Not yet."
Sigh... Imagine the consequences I will face if I also answer to her "No. Not yet.".... Die until no corpse...
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Evidence of being a (incorrigible) TVB drama sucker
#1
I went to my friend's house and comfortably seated myself on her sofa, in front of the TV. And watched TVB serials. One after another. It does not matter I never watched any of the episodes before.
While she did baking in the kitchen and her hubby surfed online in the room.
Her hubby joined me once in a while, and went, "Wah! Are we having a TVB marathon today?"
I just nodded, totally ignoring him.
She joined me once in a while, and I was so glued to the TV until she did not know whether to be amused or be exasperated and left me to my good "companion".
"You still never change! Back in uni last time, you always want to rush home catch the TVB dramas and now also!"
*Faints*
#2
He was busy meddling with his stuff, back facing me, when he asked me what I was busy with behind his back, as I was super quiet.
"Watch TV lor."
"Huh? 你没看头没看尾，也可以看到这么入神！You know the story meh?"
"Ya. Kinda..."
"Champion. You are like my mum. Just watch a few minutes can make out the whole story and how the characters are linked. 还可以说地有龙有凤! You are turning into an auntie! OMG!"
"Ya ya. Just do your stuff lar and let me watch."
"Obviously, auntie-dom didn't manage to deter you, right?"
*Speechless*
#3
Whatever come on TV, I can answer Butter or Bloss questions on what the title of the drama serials are - so much so that they say if there is ever a TVB contest, they will surely sign me up and I will definitely win - hands down!
#4
I realised I wrote abt it before - me being a TVB sucker.
#5
The TV channel would always be on the dramas whenever I go HK. And I'll always finish watching them before packing, taking shower, etc...
I went to my friend's house and comfortably seated myself on her sofa, in front of the TV. And watched TVB serials. One after another. It does not matter I never watched any of the episodes before.
While she did baking in the kitchen and her hubby surfed online in the room.
Her hubby joined me once in a while, and went, "Wah! Are we having a TVB marathon today?"
I just nodded, totally ignoring him.
She joined me once in a while, and I was so glued to the TV until she did not know whether to be amused or be exasperated and left me to my good "companion".
"You still never change! Back in uni last time, you always want to rush home catch the TVB dramas and now also!"
*Faints*
#2
He was busy meddling with his stuff, back facing me, when he asked me what I was busy with behind his back, as I was super quiet.
"Watch TV lor."
"Huh? 你没看头没看尾，也可以看到这么入神！You know the story meh?"
"Ya. Kinda..."
"Champion. You are like my mum. Just watch a few minutes can make out the whole story and how the characters are linked. 还可以说地有龙有凤! You are turning into an auntie! OMG!"
"Ya ya. Just do your stuff lar and let me watch."
"Obviously, auntie-dom didn't manage to deter you, right?"
*Speechless*
#3
Whatever come on TV, I can answer Butter or Bloss questions on what the title of the drama serials are - so much so that they say if there is ever a TVB contest, they will surely sign me up and I will definitely win - hands down!
#4
I realised I wrote abt it before - me being a TVB sucker.
#5
The TV channel would always be on the dramas whenever I go HK. And I'll always finish watching them before packing, taking shower, etc...