Random

Love is a magical emotion, an unexplained passion you feel for someone. And you need that passion to cover that person’s flaws… so you will still love him even when you know he is an idiot, a dense blockhead, a geek, etc, etc…

Love (or is that passion?) is... if he is the only one whom you will still illogically want to be with and the one whom you still will choose for yourself, against all odds...

Call me naïve and idealistic but until now, I still don’t understand how people can fall for two people at the same time. There’s no half-heartedness nor sharing in love. Either you don’t or you love him with each and every part of your cells and you want him to be happy and you will want the best for him – and this means even if you don’t really fancy his growing beer belly or if he does something in public which you thought was kind of embarrassing…

I totally don’t understand the concept of an open relationship that my friend has been telling me about. Shouldn’t love be as simple as if two people love each other, they get together and declare themselves as an official couple? So what are all these nonsense about “Yes, you love me and I love you too, we hold hands, we kissed and we can even get into bed but NO, we are not together and definitely not a couple...We are just in an open relationship.” HUH???!!! What the hell...

Different people tell me at different times that what they want is just someone in his/her life. Someone whom they love and love them back. But the fact is ─ who don’t? But you just can’t anyhow grab anyone as a life buoy, and try to see if you can develop that magical feeling with him/her; when you are not ready for, or should I say, when you can’t even bear to visualize a lifetime ahead with him/her – but really, just to satisfy your short-term neediness. That’s selfish.

I used to believe that platonic friendship does exist. But honestly, who am I trying to kid? At some point in time, I swear, one party will fall for the other, but would just keep quiet. Quietly hoping, wishing, praying that the other one will somehow, by telepathic powers or what have you, to sense the slightly different treatment. Yet, because the receiving party has been too used to the company and care and concern, he/she won’t even realize the difference! Yet, because the giving party is so afraid of the possibility of losing the other as a close friend after laying cards on the table, and so might continue to act dumb. Platonic friendship exists only after both parties have moved on, and decided one day to be honest about the past non-platonic feel he/she has for him/her. But honestly, not everyone can do that.

Which brings me to - I don't understand how a girl can call a guy who is attached to another girl at any time to share her grievances about work, life, what have you, or even to share a joke or anything or everything under the sun. And worse, I don't understand why and how the guy can actually entertain the girl. I'm sure no sane girl in the world could tolerate knowing that there is another girl calling or messaging her man about anything and everything - major or minor. The girl is at fault. The man is also at fault. And no, don't give me the bullshit that you two are just friends - because don't all relationships begin and blossom from being there for you emotionally, mentally, what have you...

A few close friends have told me at different times that I need to verbalise more on what I think and how I feel – especially when I always give people the “Whatever” or “I don’t really care” attitude or expression – when actually, I do care a lot. They say that my thoughts are always not reflected via my actions. And that’s unhealthy and bad for me – in the long run… But – isn’t this a good way to really protect myself from getting hurt?