Today...

I always thought I am a very rational person, who would never, never, allow my emotions to mask my thoughts and action.

Again, I over-estimated myself.

I should have known better. If I could forgive someone last time for his betrayal and continued to stay by him thereafter, this case, being so much less severe, should be no exception…

I know I should stay away – especially given my mental and emotional state now. But I still finally relented after trying hard on several occasions NOT to reply his msn/sms and even cut his call off.

I tried. I really did.

Butter was updated in real time, and she was very angry and even let out a few expletives. She does not understand why he came over to look for me and why I EVEN foolishly agreed to meet him.

I don’t too.

I wanted to ask if he came over because he did not hear from me for the past few days, and if that constitutes to the question that if he actually misses me. And if so, doesn’t that mean anything on his part?
But I shut off that thought as soon as it came. What’s the point?

Anyway, we've just met. The meeting was a short one and was just some casual catching up on the past week - about what he did for the past few days, about what I would be doing that evening, about his and my jobs, etc, etc.

Surprisingly, I am not feeling and thinking about anything. SC said it’s good. She said it’s OK that I met him – so long as I don’t feel upset, angry, or any other emotions thereafter – then it’s OK…

Let’s hope this “numb” feeling would continue and history such as what had happened last weekend would not happen tomorrow.