Sunday, July 12, 2009

Bubbs went star gazing… and got star-struck again! Awwww…

I love my pals. They almost immediately agreed when I asked them to accompany me to go star gazing – though they weren’t exactly very gaga over 林峰.

Granted Butter forgot her event was at Jurong Point – where 峰’s autograph session was held… And when she finally remembered, she went “shucks!!” But she already bought her tics to KL so… but before she left Jurong Point, she called and said again she wished she could join us, and I knew she meant it! =)

And thus, Bloss took up the big task of accompanying me to go star-gazing.

Really appreciated it cos I knew it took her quite an effort wor – considering she had to sacrifice her afternoon and evening to stand for more than four hours with me, without dinner some more – and also, she had to read the map and drive all the way from Sengkang to Boon Lay wor!

The autograph session backdrop
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What's worth mentioning was Butter mms me the backdrop early in the morn, with the msg "make you gian 1st! hahah"...

峰was late. His autograph session was supposed to start at 730 pm but he made his appearance only at 8 pm thereabouts. And we just stood there, squeezing with the crowd from 5 plus all the way to 8 plus… On heels some more wor.. tiring…

Throughout the session, Bloss suggested more than once to me to join the autograph queue, or even “bribed” someone to let me cut queue, but I kept hesitating – partly cos the queue was so damn long all the way to the old JP entrance and got loops some more leh, and partly, cos I was very “shy” to join the queue.

Well, I’m always like that when it comes to stars gazing.

I am such a sucker for HK TVB stars (think even my colleagues could attest to this when they witnessed how I suddenly perked up and ran amok around our hotel to search where the TVB crew was when we spotted a TVB van near our hotel – and that was when I was literally dragging my feet and complaining of wanting to return to hotel asap, just minutes prior to spotting the van)… But if you ask me to go “chase” after them or join queue to get their stuff or autograph, what have you, I would immediately become a coward and hesitate – cos I would think “aiyoh… how old liao?… still can behave like teenager …Grow up!”

And so – for the record, during the HK trip, we finally found the TVB crew.. was some 2nd or 3rd grade actor and actress, and I “manja-ed” my colleague to go take photographs for me! Hahhaa.. See?

Anyway, I digress.

Back to my 峰 autograph session today. I was lucky to have Bloss with me – cos when the emcees announced that 峰 and his manager had agreed to extend the autograph session, she asked me again whether I wanted to check the queue out.

Again, I hesitated.

Then I think she buay tahan my wishy-washiness and said, “I’ll go check it out.” And so, I just followed her…

And lo and behold, the queue was short by then, so we immediately joined the queue… And before we knew it, the security guard came to seal off the queue entrance.

But while we were nearing the stage, one of the security guards told us that we would most probably not get his autograph cos they had received instructions to stop at a guy who was wearing black or dark blue shirt in front of us.

And guess what? Bloss actually manja-ed/reasoned to the security guard and asked him to help “bargain” and “negotiate” with the organisers to just continue and “finish the queue”, since there were only the few of us left behind that guy…

And presto! We did finally squeeze in and were among the last five to get his autograph! Woo hoo!!

Bloss’ the best! I wouldn’t have gotten his autograph nor see him so up close and personal again (since the MS day)….

Awww… up close and personal with 峰 again… He’s so 帅 lor… His cute dimples, “electrifying” eyes and shy smile… And did I mention his skin’s macham so flawless too! **meltz**

And best of all, he made an effort to look up and smiled and nodded to all those who went up on stage to get his autograph. **meltz once more**

And this Bloss actually went “谢谢你,辛苦你了!” Wah… He din look up though, when she said that. He just concentrated on signing the poster… but he did look and smile at Bloss thereafter.

And when it was my turn, I just stared so hard at him and how he signed the poster and when he was done and looked up to smile and nod at me, I just managed to mutter a soft “谢谢你”… oh man, how creative…

Anyway, the best had yet to come… after we got his autograph, we just stood at a distance, away from the stage, at the JP entrance just to see how the event was going to end…

And surprise! The route of his “escape” was exactly where me and bloss were standing… ie, he actually walked past us to get to the car park!!!

Amid the pushing of the rest to try to catch a last glimpse, I thought I let out a scream (of his name), and he actually turned, gave his signature dimpled smile and waved bye!

Awww… I’m sold.

At JP, 12 July 2009
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At MS, 27 Nov 2008...
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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

我比想象中爱你 & some random ramblings...

A very soothing song (I feel la) which I accidentally came across while doing some aimless surfing... quite like the melody, which could seemingly transport me to times when the days seem to be more carefree... Dunno why - I actually think of ... 林青霞 and Qing Han! The 1980's!

***

I've frens asking me why I havent been blogging lately... Honestly, I dunno. I dunno what to blog. No inspiration to write. I guess I'm just living each day as it is. So there's nothing spectacular/peculiar/what have you to blog about, I guess.

I'm sick of always blogging about how lost or sad or miserable I am or how much I miss so and so. Paul once said we shld try to always blog about happy things. Record happy things, instead of sad. And I read somewhere, the article said the same thing too... And by blogging happier incidents, sooner or later, you will become a happier person too...

***

Just had the mid-year review which some of you might have known and knew how uptight, tense and nervous I was prior to my review. Weird - the review turned out to be better than I expected. Boss said she could see my old self coming back and that my soul seems to be back at work for the past half year, though she adds that she noes I dun seem to be at my peak yet, and she's looking forward to that. But of course, I still have to think of how to fulfil my four major objectives - which, erm... none of it has been fulfilled yet! Darn...

Nonetheless, her comments came as a surprise, because I feel I am still behaving like an aimless zombie at work, living in my own world, fretting over personal problems.

***

Told butter I am consciously making an effort to re-arrange my whole life all over again. And though she claims that my conscious efforts dun gel with my thoughts, at least I know i am taking baby steps to try. It's very difficult but I'm trying. I consider more than twice now before I feel or think I wan do something - which, I dunno if being too rational and conscientiously allowing my head to take over my heart is a good or bad thing. But at least, I know I am slowly getting back in control of my life. Then again, I dunno how long this "rationality" can last. But we'll see.

There are still many things (and his things) lying around in my room, and even my HP and MP3 and some of the stuff I use on a daily basis, which cruelly serve as reminders.

But I guess, again, rationality is the way to go. I used to be able to do it. So I'm sure I can do it again. :)

***

And "horrors of all horrors", I just realised two nights ago - when J asked me about my previous embdedded song -- that he has been randomly reading my blog! Oh well... but i've nothing to hide from you anyway. Stalker! =p But i'm glad to chat with him again, though he always ends up making me feeling stressed by asking me serious questions like "where do i think my career is heading?", and "have I ever seriously thought of how to increase my $$", and "where do i think i stand among my uni-mates in terms of career advancement, $$, etc"... Bleah!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

真的宁愿做一个傻女人。。。

最近被芬拉去看《天冷就回来》这部舞台剧。

看的时候,感动地哭了。

看了过后,感触很多。

尤其是有一幕,简直就是逼我回想我大概不这么想记得的过去。

男主角问女主角她的理想是什么,女生就羞答答的回答,“很简单。只要每天知道你平安快乐,每天能依偎在你怀里,我就觉得很幸福了。

男生又问,“你不怕我骗你吗?不怕我在外面有别人吗?”

女生的回答让我当场愣住了。

“怕。可是,如果你要骗我,求求你,就骗我一辈子。我宁愿做一个傻女人,也请你永远不要让我知道。”

我曾经跟他也说了这么同一句话。我也还记得他当时还笑我傻,也答应我如果真的有这么一天,他会尽全力不让我知道。

最终,他真的是背叛了我。他最终还是向我坦白了。 很奇怪。我当时第一个怨他的并不是为什么背叛了我们的感情。而是为什么他没尽全力不让我知道事实。 为什么让我怀疑?为什么向我坦白?为什么答应我的事没做到?

芬说我是个典型的小女人, 只是嘴巴硬永远不承认。是不是,我不知道。

我只知道,事隔多年,我还是觉得我真的宁愿做一个傻女人。

要骗就真的请骗我一辈子。

*** ***

最近在追看《珠光宝气》。 剧中的女人可以为了她们爱的男人出卖她们的亲人,什么事都把自己放在最后,也不管男人是否领不领情。 好可怕。。。

不知是不是女人都是那么傻, 总是会比较会感情用事。

原来,有些话说了,是再也收不回。 有些话听了,日子久了,想起那段话时,心还是会像被刀狠狠多刺了一次。

在整理手机的简讯信箱时,看了他以前发给我的简讯,再想起我们的对话,真想就这么消失掉。

我怎么会说出那些话?他又怎么会有说好像没说?

更厉害的是我们俩事后可以装得这段对话好像从没发生过!

其实,虽然我没说,我们的对话一直在我脑海里重复着。 每重复一次,心就被刀狠狠多刺了一次,在那还没抚平好的伤口再插了一刀。

原来,最痛的是他在我面前,我却要装得我一点也没事,我不能让他知道我好挂念他。 也不能让他知道他其实伤得我好深好深。

应该是要和他保持距离的,应该是要对他冷淡一点的。 这些我都知道。
可是不知我是犯贱还是什么的,我还是做不到。我还是很紧张他,还是很在乎他。

他一个简讯说他伤风感冒,或说他拉肚子,或说他会和朋友去喝酒 – 他的简讯简单的一行字,我的回复就是噼里啪啦地说了,问了好几行字。

难怪他说我好唠叨。 可是,他知不知道我不是向谁都会这么唠叨。他又知不知道如果是别人,我才懒得回应。

奇怪的是,他如果怕我会唠叨,大可不必随口跟我说,反正,他不说,我也不知道。 也许,他并不知道他的每次随口说说,都会弄得我紧张西西,替他担心这个,担心那个。

好矛盾。 我好想见他,但是,事实是真的是不能见到他。每一次见面后,我的情绪就会起落不定。

当我们肩靠着肩,当我们有默契时,当我们贴近彼此耳旁说话时,当我感觉到他在我脸上呼吸时,我真的好想问他为什么我们的心却不能如此地靠近?

忽然觉得自己好可悲, 怎么会把自己弄得那么狼狈?

或许,更正确的说法是我一直不敢,不想去面对和接受我们的心真的无法象我希望地再贴近。

更荒缪的是,或许,由始至终真的都是我想太多 – 所谓说者“无意”,听者“有心”。

可是,我想太多,我有心,是因为。。。

其实,说这么多,想这么多,也没有用。

因为不管我多么不想面对,多么不想承认,我们现在。。。 就是纯粹好朋友而已。

Monday, April 20, 2009

Phnom Penh trip – April 17-20, 2009

On our way to Phnom Penh! At Changi Airport at 6-plus-ish in the morning. Don't we look fresh?


Landed safely - At Phnom Penh International Airport - with our luggage


Ann holding the "Kotex-look-alike" envelope package which contained all the USD for our meals


Yaw Heng couldn't control his surprise that I actually carry a bottle of medicated oil wherever I go - and he laughed non-stop... Grrr... Shouldn't have passed the bottle to him for his mosquito bites!


A weighing machine in the supermarket - control your weight. Don't buy too much snacks!


The yummy kampong fried chicken rice which I like!


The path to The Royal Palace, where the King of Cambodia lives... Shhh...


At The Royal Palace



1) Enjoying (natural) sauna everyday…
Talk about losing water…

I’ve been told that it would be very hot in Phnom Penh. I checked out the weather forecast before the trip and it said it was between 25°C to 32°C; hence, I thought it should be similar to Singapore’s and that Yaw Heng and Ann-marie were trying to exaggerate…

Are you complaining that Singapore’s weather is hot, hot, hot these days and really unbearable?

Wait till you arrive at Phnom Penh. It’s basically soaking yourself in a sauna bath everyday! The HOT Singapore weather is like air-con to Phnom Penh’s.

No kidding.

During the four days, I could feel HUGE beads of perspiration flowing/dripping from my forehead, to cheeks, to chin; from neck, to shoulder, to chest, to belly button… Eeewwww…

I’m glad I brought along a paper fan and a face towel, despite Vanessa and Ann-marie asking me not to ('cos it’s so auntified)… But it turned out that my flimsy paper fan was the savior for all of us!

2) Enjoying massage and spa everyday…
I’m starting to believe I am really not cut out to be a tai-tai. Unlike many other girls, I don’t enjoy massage and spa. I don’t really fancy a stranger’s hands roaming freely up and down my whole body. And not forgetting, massage can be painful and ticklish at the same time.

It all started with the other two ladies ranting about wanting to enjoy massage and spa to escape from the hot weather… We went to Cham Pei Spa and Salon. Ann-marie and I took a full body aroma massage, and an exfoliating body scrub plus honey milk bath package. Cost us US$40.50. The exfoliating body scrub was good, I must say…

The honey milk bath was in a Jacuzzi bath tub filled with flower petals. Looked pretty and smelled good! But somehow, I could not just lie down and rest my head comfortably, like Ann did! For some reason, my butt and lower body kept floating, regardless of my sitting position! Ann had a good time laughing at me, seeing how I was trying to balance myself in the Jacuzzi tub. She concluded it was because of my light bottom and heavy top, which acts as a pair of natural floats! What the &#*$&*#^%^%@!!

The masseurs who attended to us did not know how to speak English and whatever we said or asked, the answer was a smile, nod and “Yes.” And they always “refused” to give us disposable panties – that is, until we asked them by playing charades and even resorted to showing them what’s underneath our shorts…

Everyone enjoyed the massage and scrub so much that they decided to return again for the next two days. And being the only one casting the “no more” vote, I could just follow the majority's preference…

Did a full-leg massage on Day 2 for US$10.50 and a full body aroma massage, and a coffee body scrub plus honey milk bath package on Day 3 for US$40.50.

By Day 3, I started to really enjoy the entire process that I almost fell asleep, instead of cringing in pain during the massage.

Fresh after our spa retreat!


The snacks we had after the pampering session.


3) Mosquito/houseflies murderers
Our mini-van was infested with mosquitoes and houseflies on the first day and on other days too. Think it was the hot weather (and the filthy environment)…

Ended up having a mosquito/houseflies killing competition in the van.

Our driver must have thought that we were mad with all the clapping, slapping and stomping of our hands and feet.

The winner was Ann-marie, followed by Vanessa and Wee Kiat. I tried but always missed them. Ended up only waving my hands and shaking my legs, shooing the pests away…

These pests were also a common sight at restaurants, orphanages and practically everywhere.

4) Visits to two orphanages
Children at the orphanages were very friendly. Some of them ran up to our vans and greeted us with warm “Hello!” and smiles, while some were very shy and just stood around.

The first orphanage was Unicas. The children were very obedient and sat down (similar to a classroom setting in the open) and waited for us while we talked to the director of the orphanage and discussed how to go about distributing the presents to them.

I don’t know how the others felt but I felt awkward when I was distributing the lollipops, stationeries and cartoon face towels to them. I felt even more uneasy when I handed the presents to orphans who were already teenagers.

If you ask me, my heart goes out more to the teenagers than to the younger kids. Why? Because it breaks my heart to see that they are physically an adult, yet you could see that they are as delighted as the younger kids when you hand them a lollipop or a pencil or a cartoon face towel.

And most of them were running around barefoot.

The simple things in our daily life that we took for granted are such treasures to them.

Spoke to two girls who were 19 and 20 years old. They told us they want to be a nurse and a pharmacist. I sincerely hope they would be able to achieve their dreams.

Can you find me?



Kids waving goodbye to us when we left. They even ran all the way to the gates and continued running behind us, after our van...


The second orphanage was New Phnom Penh. We were actually way behind our schedule for the day, and Queen Vanessa already gave orders in the van that we only had 20 minutes to spare at this orphanage.

However, it turned out that the children actually prepared three five-minute long dance performances – complete with costumes and make-up – to welcome us!

I was touched.

Throughout the performances, Vanessa was getting grouchy and impatient, and kept shooting us looks that we were running out of time. However, the rest of us figured we could still afford another 30 minutes and ignored her.

With the kids who performed for us


Honestly, I think we would never be able to fully understand what these kids are going through. Some of them are not exactly orphans. They have parents but their parents are too poor to support them and have no choice but to send them to the orphanage. Some have parents who are diagnosed as HIV-positive.

Learnt that one boy was knocked down by a moto on his way from school back to the orphanage the day before our visit. And while in the hospital, they were worrying about the hospital bills. Sad.

5) Miscellaneous…
a) We were trying to find a restaurant but when we reached there, the place did not look at all like an eating place. Turned out that there are two places with the same address! How weird is that! I bet the two places must be receiving each other’s mails!

b) A pity that the Central Market was under renovation and I did not get to see the famous dome-shaped structure. Did not shop much at the Central Market and the Russian Market as the weather was so scorching warm and the temperature seemed to have risen even more as we trotted down the many narrow aisles of the badly-ventilated and low-ceiling markets.

c) Something spooky… We were all getting ready to zzz, lying on the bed and chatting/giggling away on our last night in our apartment when suddenly, Vanessa and I saw a bright red/white flash across the ceiling.

It was only then that Ann-marie revealed that she already kind of saw the flash – from the corner of her eyes – for the past two nights but since Vanessa and I did not mention anything about it, she thought it was taboo and decided to keep mum. She only realised that the two of us did not see it until the third night. According to her, it always happened around the same time.

The weird thing was our apartment was on the third level (already considered one of the highest levels in the city) and we drew the thick window curtains. Even if the Khmers living in the super lok-kok building opposite us were rich to afford a camera, we don’t think a photograph shoot would warrant such a strong light flash. And we don’t think they own a camera anyway. I was just glad I managed to fall asleep fast for the first two nights.

d) Talk about Earth Hour. I think Phnom Penh should take the responsibility of spearheading this world event from WWF. Black-outs were a common sight in Phnom Penh. We experienced black-outs at all the restaurants we visited. Visited Malis, one of the supposedly high-class restaurants in Phnom Penh, and the moment we stepped out of our van, the restaurant went dark. Turned out that a tree fell and pulled down along with it the electricity poles and wires. Visited the Chinese restaurant opened by my daddy’s friend, the Khmer Surin restaurant and a few other places, and we also dined in the dark for a good five minutes or so. By the third night, I ended up giggling non-stop when the posh pub we were at also experienced the same thing and the rest laughed, saying “I was expecting it, right?”.

At Khmer Surin restaurant


Don't ask me what Vanessa was doing tying the red napkin over her head...


e) It was raining elephants and hippopotamus shortly after we arrived at S21 museum. Hence, we did not really explore the place except for the building we were stuck at, while waiting for the rain to stop. Not a very pleasant place to visit because it was kind of depressing and spooky too. There was a photo exhibition by a photographer who took pictures of the place and – whether it was unintentional or the photos had been edited or it was due to the angles that the photos were taken – the photos seemed to have captured and reflected stuff from “the other world”.

The memorial at The Killing Fields...


f) Many of the Ang-moh tourists were also trapped in the same building as us and after a good 15-20 minutes (and no signs of the rain changing to a drizzle), they decided to just run in the rain to their vehicles. As for us, we actually figured out a smart way to stay dry. We called our driver, made him drive up the kerb, onto the walkway to the building and boarded the van. Before Wee Kiat closed the van’s door, he actually shouted to the other Ang-mohs looking at us, “Stoopid Ang-mohs! Run in the rain! The Asians are the SMARTER ones! Woo hoo!” Wah!!! I bet most Asians wouldn’t have the guts to do that!

Leaving International Phnom Penh Airport

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Mesmerised... 霍霍霍霍。。。

Though his vocals is not as powerful and strong as Mr Jay Chou's, I thought it's still not too bad for a newbie singer! And the best part is he's so agile (at the beginning and end of the performance)!!! Awwwww....